"He did-" she gulped. "but he called... the day you took yourself out of the mission... he called," she blurted out. I looked at her suspiciously.
"And that changes his plans somehow?" I seethed. To know that he had planned on killing me from the very beginning; that he had played me for a fool... it...
Fuck.
"It matters!" she exclaimed, catching me off guard. "He told the Chief that the deal was off."
Shock.
Fear.
Disbelief.
"Wha-" I clamped my mouth shut, unprepared for the onslaught of the hopeful thoughts at the back of my mind. The thoughts crept up on me and took over my mind, rendering me useless for a few devastating moments.
No. I stopped myself from going any further.
"What did you say?"
"He told them to fuck off and that he didn't need any help from them," she paused, if only for a second, but then spoke again. "I think he... he did it for you." I shook my head vigorously.
"If he had done it for me, he would have owned up to it."
"You would have killed him."
"He left me for dead! He betrayed me!"
"He loved you!"
"Yes, when he was fucking me, he loved me."
"You don't understand!"
"You don't know him. He... I meant nothing to him, a pawn in his game. I admire him for it, but it doesn't make me hate him any less."
"You loved him... it's okay..."
"He's the secret agent that betrayed my mother. She was killed because of it."
"Your father killed your mother."
"And he did nothing to stop him. He let it happen... Why?"
"Because he was proving that he was worth the throne... He became Jasper so that he could show the worthless father of his that he was more than capable to handle the empire." She stepped forward, trying to cradle my face in her palms. I moved away from her, revolted that she was taking his side. "You are just like him..."
"I am nothing like him, Daisy. He has so many faces that... I don't even know which one of them is true," I choked.
"Why are you defending him?" I asked her when she didn't reply. My eyes were shut and I was trying not to imagine his face... I was trying to push the nightmares away; trying to prevent them from resurfacing.
"I don't want to... I really don't... but I feel that you should know..." I could hear her ragged breathing. I could hear how worried she was about me. I wondered if she thought I would have another heart attack. I realized that she did.
"I can protect myself this way... I won't feel lost." I had no fight left in me.
"You're only hurting yourself," she said. "Your anger is justified, Mia, but you cannot harm yourself in the process. What they did was wrong, and I promised that I would get them back. Jacob promised that they would die for their mistakes. Isn't that enough? Must you fill yourself with all these thoughts and kill yourself slowly?" Her words had made sense; I found myself at a loss for words.
I kept my knees close so that they wouldn't betray me. Everyone, it seems, was betraying me.
I felt her arms encircle me. She pulled me into her arms and whispered her plans to me. I nodded, merely, letting the brilliance of it wash over me. She was divinely inspired, she told me as she soothed me. Words of revenge calmed me down. She told me that Sean, himself, had helped her figure out a way to destroy Anthony Murray, I listened to her intently. I smiled when I heard her say that she needed one more person to complete the plan. I felt tears escape my eyes as I laughed. I told her that I would do it. I told her that nothing in this world would make me happier than it.
She hugged me and let me cry on her shoulder.