"I'll see you later, I need to do something urgently as an idea dropped into my mind now," he continued as he gave a polite bow and expressed his desire to take his leave. Still mesmerized by the hug and suddenly intimacy, she nodded her head furiously like a hen pecking corn.
With a small smile, Marcus rose from his seat and made his way towards the exit, leaving Sofia in the dimly lit room. As he stepped out into the night, a renewed sense of purpose surged through him. He couldn't let fear hold him back any longer.
Determined to find Diana and repair what had been broken, Marcus hailed a cab and gave the driver the address of his house as he couldn't drive after drinking a lot of shots for night. The city lights blurred past him as his mind raced with thoughts of how to convince her to give their relationship a chance.
Arriving at his destination, Marcus paid the cab fare and stepped out onto the tranquil street. He looked up at Diana's house and forced himself to calm down as he would find a solution.
Taking a deep breath, Marcus entered the house through the window as he tried to source for more information about where she might have gone to or someone he could contact that could have an idea of where she might be or who might know where she might be.
Days turned into a week, and Marcus's longing for Diana only grew stronger. Every passing moment without her felt like an eternity. He desperately wanted to repair the trust that had been shattered and show her that he wasn't hiding from her, but rather scared of losing her before he even had a chance to explain.
*****
As Marcus stealthily made his way through Diana's house, he couldn't help but feel a sense of intrusion. He knew it was wrong to enter without permission, but his desperation to find her overwhelmed any sense of propriety. He silently prayed that he would discover something that could lead him to her, a clue, a note, anything.
He carefully searched through her belongings, his gaze scanning for any indication of her whereabouts. The familiar scent of her perfume lingered in the air, stirring memories of their moments together. It was both comforting and torturous at the same time.
Amidst the mundane details of her life, Marcus stumbled upon a small notebook tucked away in a drawer. He opened it cautiously, his eyes scanning the handwritten pages.
Each word on the pages seemed to carry the weight of Diana's pain, her struggles, and her determination to break free from the chains of her past, her thoughts about Cole, her affections for him, her work, her gist with her best friend, Tania and many more details. Marcus felt a lump forming in his throat as he absorbed the depth of her experiences.
He understood that his mere presence had inadvertently reopened wounds she thought had healed.
Guilt washed over him like a tidal wave, threatening to drown his spirit as he realized and broken she was yet he didn't seem to notice.
Her breakup and life experiences already made feel hard to breath yet she put on a smile every single day and moved on courageously with her life without breaking, however just when she felt she had found a wall and sweet love with him, his secret broke her to the extent she started to reason if she was just created to experience tragedies.
He had never intended to cause her pain, yet his own existence seemed to have unearthed the buried traumas she fought so hard to forget. His nonchalance seem to even break her more than he realized and she was already spiraling into depression before she decided to seek help with a therapist while staying with Tania for a while to suppress the suicidal thoughts coming to her head.
The realization struck him with a heavy blow, making him question his own actions and their consequences.
"I never wanted to hurt her," Marcus whispered, his voice filled with remorse. "But my presence seems to have become a painful reminder of the pain of losing what she loves that she so desperately wants to escape from reality as it is now."
His heart ached for Diana, understanding the immense strength she had displayed in facing her demons. He admired her resilience and admired her all the more for her determination to heal and move forward. And now, he was faced with the daunting task of earning back her trust and proving that he was not a threat but a source of support and love.
With a heavy sigh, Marcus closed the notebook gently, his fingers lingering on its worn pages. He knew that he couldn't undo the pain he had unintentionally caused, but he could take responsibility for his actions and make amends.
Leaving Diana's house, he walked out into the night, his mind consumed with thoughts of how to make things right. He had seen Tania's contact at the contact page of the book and saved it since this was where she wrote she would go and his contact lead at the moment.
Fearing of badging into her life at the moment, he suddenly felt at a loss as he didn't even know what to tell Tania or even if she knows about what I have done, "Shit, I feel like I'm losing my mind now" he screamed aloud into the night before walking back to his house for a calming bath.
The warm water cascaded over Marcus's body as he sank into the bathtub, hoping to find solace in its soothing embrace. His mind swirled with thoughts of Diana's pain and the weight of his own guilt. The sound of water filled the silence, but it couldn't drown out the turmoil within him.
"Why haven't I noticed that she has been through a lot, now I have added to that lot," Marcus murmured to himself, his voice filled with frustration and self-doubt. "I thought I could protect her from the darkness, but instead, I became a part of it."