Meredith sat on her bed hugging her knees to her chest. She had no idea how she was going to face Atlas today. A crushing wave of despair drowned her while she bit down her tears of shame.
Her mind kept playing the scenes when Atlas had been jealous and possessive at the club. The first time he called her Angel, the first time he pressed a kiss on her forehead and how he had treated her when she had her period.
Her chest tightened---it hurts so much and the crazy thing was she didn't even know why. It would feel so much better to have a physical injury than suffer from this inhuman emotional torture where she had no idea why she was feeling like this.
Did you think he was going to take you seriously? You were just had experiment and now he is bored. 'Sweet, trusting Elizabeth you still haven't learnt anything from your past.'
A taunting voice in her head sang.
"Shut up," she gritted out, her voice echoing in the empty room. She raked a hand through her hair thinking about how fucked she was now. A knock snapped her out of her thoughts.
She furrowed her brows and decided to ignore the person. She was not in the mood to talk to Atlas or anyone right now.
"I'm not leaving until you open the door Angel." Atlas's deep voice sounded at the other side of the door.
"Leave me alone you jerk! You don't get to decide when you want me to be your Angel and when you want me to be your secretary. I'm sick and tired of your bipolar personality." Meredith yelled at him; all the emotions she had kept inside spiraled out of control.
"I'm sorry just hear me out. please."
Hearing the plea in his voice she decided to listen to him, Years of reading has taught her that miscommunication was the ultimate ruin of relationships. Whatever that was going on between them she didn't want to lose it.
"What do you want now Mr. Martini?" She said bitterly the moment she opened the door.
Atlas was wearing a black T-shirt and ripped jeans. His hair was tousled and he looked so good. She couldn't look away from him.
"Were. you crying?" he stuttered as he looked into her eyes.
"It's none of your business. You have 2 minutes to say whatever you want to say."
"Angel.."
"1 min 59 seconds." Meredith interjected crossing her arms over her chest.
"I'm sorry. I know I have been quite an asshole these past few daysit just---"
He paused and ran his hands through his hair frustration bubbling on his face.
"Well?"
Meredith scoffed.
"I'm going through stuffs and I know it's not an excuse but-"
"Yes it's not." Meredith interrupted him.
"You ignored me for days, don't pick my calls and treated me like a slut yesterday. What the hell is wrong with you?"
Meredith stared at him in disbelief shaking her head.
Silence fell and he lowered his head.
"I know.I'm sorry." Atlas's looked up into her eyes and she almost forgave him when she saw his eyes filled with the same sadness as hers.
"Really?" She asked sarcastically her words laced with anger.
"You didn't think about how I was feeling when you were treating me like some thing you used and discarded." Meredith realized now that her chest was heaving up and down. All the emotions were eating her up.
"What happened to you're mine and I will kill anybody who hurts you. Guess what Atlas? You're the one who hurt me. I trusted you, let you see the lowest part of me and then you treated me like how everybody treated me. A nobody!"
Atlas's jaw tightened and he pulled her closer to his chest, making her gasp.
"A nobody?! Then tell me why I can't stop thinking about you." He spoke through gritted teeth while looking into her eyes.
"Fucking tell me why my heart keeps beating anytime you're around huh? Because the last time I checked I had no heart!"
Meredith's heart hammered in her chest as she searched his eyes. The naked truth staring right back at her scared her.
"Want to know an ugly truth Angel?"
Meredith swallowed, nerves floating in her stomach.
"Answer me!" He roared, his voice so loud echoing in the air.
"Y-yes." She replied.
"Do you know how hard it hurts me to ignore you, Angel? You were so close yet so far anytime I see you at work. It took immerse strength to look at your face because once I lose control I would consume you.
Do you think I don't miss your smile, seeing you on your knees, hearing you call me sir. You looking at me with so much trust in your eyes? Ever since I saw you at the club, I knew you were going to be my destruction and I didn't give a fuck. I just wanted you!
The first time you trusted me with your body, my mind couldn't be more messed up. I became even more crazier and possessive. When I saw you with that guy at the restaurant I realized how fucked I have become because of you.
I wanted to make him disappear from touching you because you're mine! That's why I started avoiding you because I realized I was spiraling out of control. My greatest fear is to lose control of something. The last time I lost control I had killed 30 men with my bare hands.
My brother made me promised him to always control my emotions and a situation. That's how I got into BDSM. To learn self control and how to be in control of my emotions. So yes, I had to proved to my fucked up self that we are still in control whether as Atlas or Mr. Martini.
Do you think it's easier for me to see you in the office every day and pretend I don't want you bend over my desk? I fucking planned this trip because I couldn't do it anymore. I just wanted to be alone with you.
Sorry if I abused my power as your boss and lied to you but it was the only way I could think of. There is no charity gala. I just wanted to take you on a romantic trip because I had seen your bucket list in your room the last time I visited. You wanted to visit a romantic island and what is better than the Maldives?
Yesterday when I saw you on your knees in the bathroom, my chest tightened because I realized how much I missed you and I panicked.
I had to show myself I was still in control! So I fucking called you Miss Rossi to let you know I'm still in control even though I'm not! Then I saw the unshed tears in your eyes then I hated myself.
I was supposed to be the one to protect you but I hurt you because I'm a coward!"
He let out a deep sigh, his forehead leaning against hers.
Meredith swallowed the lump in her throat.
"Atlas-"
He shook his head and gave her a sad smile, "I think the 2 minutes is up."
Then he pulled away from her and walked away.
A/N: Mass release-5 chapters when we reach 500 power stones by Sunday!