Feng Tianlan was looking at Si Mobai’s back, which was as straight as a pine tree. She seemed immersed in the memories of her past life and did not notice the change in Si Mobai’s breathing.
“At that time, I liked him a lot too. I thought that he was the love of my life. I felt a sense of belonging. I wanted to marry him, bear his child, and grow old together. I thought I would become the most blissful woman in the world.”
Si Mobai clenched his fists. His peach-blossom eyes turned scarlet, almost bloodshot. He felt like his heart was being squeezed tightly by an invisible hand. It hurt him so much that he could not breathe.
As it turned out, she, who was apathetic, was actually like any other ordinary girl. Once, she’d longed for a future. However, the man with whom she’d had envisioned that future was not Si Mobai. After listening to her, he felt the urge to seek out Si Rong and chop him into pieces.
However, when he really thought about it, Si Rong had never spoiled Feng Tianlan. He frowned. She was not talking about Si Rong. There was someone else!
Thinking of her once beautiful fantasy, Feng Tianlan looked down in sorrow. Then, she let out a self-deprecating laugh and continued, “However, I thought it all up by myself. That was my one-sided dream.”
Si Mobai’s grumpy mood abated after witnessing Feng Tianlan’s bitter self-mockery. However, he immediately felt more pain in his heart, which made his murderous intent grow even stronger.
The woman he cared for and had placed upon the altar of his heart had been trampled on before. D*mn! Even tearing his rival into pieces couldn’t satisfy his hatred.
“He betrayed me. Together with my sister, he betrayed me. He took everything away from me. My family, my palm print, and even…” Feng Tianlan trailed off. What she couldn’t bear to say was, “my life!”
That double betrayal had felt much worse than death itself. She couldn’t ignore the hatred that she still felt.
Listening to Feng Tianlan’s sad, dreary voice, Si Mobai experienced intense heartache. He wanted to turn around, hug her, and tell her that he would never betray her. He was not that kind of a person.
“Don’t move. Let me finish.” Feng Tianlan raised her eyes and stopped Si Mobai, who was about to turn around. “Or else I wouldn’t have the courage to finish saying what I want to say.”
“Lan’er, you don’t have to say anymore. No matter the reason, I don’t want you to tear open your old wound. Let the past stay in the past. You don’t have to confess everything to me.” Si Mobai’s deep voice was filled with pity.
How painful was it for her to reopen these wounds from the past? He would rather not know than let her rip herself open and hurt herself.
“After that, I realized that not everyone who treats you well, spoils you, and says sweet nothings loves you truly.” Feng Tianlan was looking at Si Mobai’s back as she let out a mocking laugh. “Didn’t Si Rong and Tu Xiang lavish extra love on those who were useful to them until they’d obtained what they wanted? How did all that turn out in the end?”
In the end, Jiang Ying had killed her, Si Rong had killed Xiupei, and Tu Xiang had killed her mother. The story was always shockingly similar. How could she not have learned her lesson? Thus, she took precautions and closed up her heart.
Feng Tianlan never saw Si Mobai’s expression, but she knew what he was about to say. She countered before he could say anything, “I know what you want to say, and I am willing to believe that you are not this type of man. However, I’ve experienced it myself and have seen many examples. I can no longer completely open up my heart and love someone else again, regardless. ”
Si Mobai took back the words he’d wanted to say. He felt extremely sorry for her.
Feng Tianlan’s pupils grew wide. “How well you’ve treated me and all the sacrifices you’ve made—I can clearly see them. I feel very touched. However, I am not who I used to be. Someone capable of loving another with all my heart because I am emotionally moved. I have learned my lesson. I need to differentiate between genuine affection and being stirred emotionally.”
Si Mobai treated her as well as Jiang Ying had. However, he was far better than Jiang Ying. What he did for her was incomparable to what Jiang Ying had done, but her state of mind was no longer that of Shen Qingdai.