"⬛⬛⬛⬛!"
My eyes snapped open from the sound echoing in my ears.
"...!"
Had someone called my name?
A real name, not the one given to me in this story.
The familiar scent of old books and worn in furniture greeted me as I took in my surroundings.
It was my room, unchanged from the day I left it.
The same cluttered desk, the same faded posters on the wall, the same worn-out armchair in the corner.
I looked down at my hands, at my body.
It was me.
The real me, not Rel Laurence, the fictional character I had become.
I was back in my old life, seven years before my transmigration.
Just an ordinary high school student, before the world of writing had consumed me.
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
Compared to my 25-year-old self, I was in peak physical condition back then.
I wasn't slouching over a keyboard, I wasn't battling writer's block and deadlines.
I was free.
My friends were still in my life and I had a girlfriend... everything was ahead of me.
But as I gazed out the window at the bright sunshine, I've always wondered...
Why had I thrown away a life like this?
I couldn't understand.
"⬛⬛⬛⬛, you're awake," a familiar voice said.
My father stepped into the room, and I felt his presence as a comforting anchor.
"You should get ready now, or your mother's gonna get mad," he chuckled.
My mother followed him in and I saw her face set in its usual 'you're-late-again' frown.
— "Rel..."
"⬛⬛⬛⬛, seriously... you have a perfect attendance record, thanks to me. Hurry up!"
Although they were alive and well in front of me, I began to wonder if they were doing well without me.
— "Rel...Rel..."
I couldn't help but smile... and suddenly their voices were distant, muffled by a persistent white noise that filled my ears.
Right... It's just a dream.
— "Rel...Rel...Rel!"
I reached out towards them, but as I blinked, the scene dissolved...
I found myself back in the academy's infirmary with blurry vision.
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"Shit..."
As I extended my hands to try to reach for my glasses, I felt nothing on the nightstand.
But weren't my glasses already on?
As I felt the familiar frame of my glasses, I took them off and realized that a tear had rolled down my cheek.
I was crying.
It had been so long since I'd felt this way, this vulnerable, this...human.
"Damn it..."
I muttered, covering my eyes with my arm, trying to block out the fading image of my parents.
Did they have the same black hair as me?
Did my mother dye hers brown?
Did my father always wear his hair that way?
I had a lot of questions in my mind.
But each one was a painful reminder of the life I had left behind.
I had buried the memories of my past deep within my heart, convincing myself that they didn't matter anymore.
But this dream, this glimpse of the life I once had, shattered that illusion.
It exposed the wound, the ache that had never truly healed.
It was a constant reminder of what I had lost.
**
Rel, lost in thought gazed out the infirmary window looking at the bright blue sky above.
"Rel?"
Jan's voice spoke as Rel turned to see him standing by the doorway with a concerned expression on his face.
"You okay, man?" Jan asked, stepping closer. "You've been out for a while."
Rel blinked, trying to clear the traces of tears from his eyes.
"Yeah," he managed, turning his gaze to the window.
"Just a bit dazed, that's all."
Jan studied him for a moment, then nodded.
"Well, you missed out on our win. Louise went ballistic, trying to take you out. Luckily, I got there just in time."
"I saw," Rel muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. "Thanks for the save."
"No problem," Jan replied, clapping Rel on the shoulder.
"But seriously, everyone was worried about you. I heard that after you got eliminated, you were knocked out cold on the floor. Kolek tried to wake you up, but you didn't respond."
Rel remained turned away as his voice felt distant.
"Is that so?"
"Yeah! The doctors said they had to do a mana transfusion on you because you had no mana."
"Mhm..." Rel nodded and his usual response sounded noncommittal.
Although Jan had filled him in on what happened, he still had one last question to ask.
"Rel..."
"Yeah?"
"Were you crying?"
Rel turned back to face Jan with a carefully neutral expression.
"Crying?" he said, "Of course not. Why would I be crying?"
Jan hesitated, unsure whether to press further.
"Well... you just seemed a little... emotional when I came in."
Rel shrugged, feigning nonchalance.
"Must have been the pain medication. They tend to mess with your head a bit."
Jan studied Rel's face for a moment longer, then seemed to accept the explanation.
"Alright," he said with a chuckle. "Just making sure you're okay. You gave us quite a scare."
Rel nodded, relieved that Jan hadn't pushed any further.
He was grateful for Jan's concern, but he wasn't ever going to share that burden.
"Well, I'm feeling better now," Rel said, forcing a smile. "Thanks for checking on me."
Jan gave Rel one last reassuring pat on the shoulder before heading out of the infirmary and the automatic sliding doors shut behind him, revealing a small gathering of concerned faces in the hallway.
Alice, Lyra, Bazz, Camila, and Jae stood huddled together.
Valencia was sitting on a chair from across Rel's room.
Jan raised a hand to silence them, a gentle smile gracing his lips.
"He's alright," he whispered, his voice carrying a comforting warmth.
"Just a bit shaken up, but he'll be fine."
A collective sigh of relief swept through the group and the tension that had gripped them since Rel's sudden disappearance began to dissipate.
"Let's meet up at Allen's Cafe later," Jan suggested, his eyes scanning the group.
Everyone nodded in agreement, eager to put the events of the day behind them and enjoy some well-deserved relaxation.
"Valencia," Jan said, his voice lowering to a more serious tone.
"Can you stay back for a minute? I'd like to talk to you about something."
Jan leaned against the wall, his usual carefree demeanour replaced by a thoughtful expression.
"Valencia," his voice hushed, "I wanted to ask you... did you notice anything unusual about Rel when you visited him earlier?"
Valencia's brow furrowed as her mind replaying the scene in the infirmary.
"He seemed a bit... distant," she admitted, her voice soft.
"And his eyes were red like he'd been crying."
"Crying?" Jan echoed, surprise evident in his voice. "Rel? Crying?"
Valencia nodded simply nodded.
"When I walked in, he was asleep, but he was murmuring in his sleep, calling for his mother."
A sharp pain struck Valencia's heart.
She knew all too well the ache of missing a parent, the void that could never truly be filled.
The rumours she had heard about Rel being an orphan might be true.
"I think... I think he might not have a family to go back to," Valencia said quietly.
Jan's expression softened as he, too, understood the pain of having no parents.
"That must be really hard for him."
A brief silence fell between them as they both contemplated Rel's situation.
Then, Jan cleared his throat, breaking the quiet moment.
"Valencia,"
"Yeah?"
"Let's not mention anything about Rel crying to the others, alright? I don't think he'd want them to know."
Valencia nodded, understanding the unspoken request. "Sure."
With that, they headed towards the cafe, Valencia turning her head back slightly towards the hallway where Rel's room was.
"Stay strong..." she muttered.
[Location: The Darkworld - ???]