In the Imperial Palace, a drama of sovereign and subject finally meeting, touching both heaven and earth, was being performed.
Emperor Chu changed his posture, resting one hand on his chin, leaning sideways, while playing with a Large Ring in the other hand, watching the old minister below wipe his tears and snot while complaining.
After many years without meeting, Prince Dingbei had aged, become more loquacious, and even better at acting—his vivid expressions surpassed those of an actor.
Eunuch Zhou replaced the cup of tea, watching Prince Dingbei wipe his tears, thinking that Prince Dingbei could really talk, going on for an hour without a stutter.
"...Your Majesty, I am nearing sixty in nominal years. Others at my age are already great-grandfathers, yet I can’t even produce a single male offspring. I am useless," Prince Dingbei said, wiping away his non-existent tears, "I’m almost with one foot in the coffin, not counting on having a son anymore, just relying on my foolish daughter to look after me, buy the shroud and fetch water."
"My beloved subject, you must not underestimate yourself. The old should grow stronger as they age; there is still hope if you try harder. Weren’t you planning to find another princess?" said Emperor Chu.
Prince Dingbei chuckled wryly: "Those were just drunken words, can’t be taken seriously. Why create trouble for some girl’s family with these old bones? Not looking anymore. And as for having children, stop counting on it. If I could, I would have had them long ago with the flowers of my backyard."
Emperor Chu fake-laughed: "No rush, maybe the child’s fate hasn’t arrived yet!"
Prince Dingbei thought to himself, fate my foot, if it were meant to be, it would have come ages ago.
"Your Majesty, let’s not speak of that void hope. Just my daughter, Your Majesty, my Pan’er is already eighteen, almost nineteen, even twenty in nominal years. Other people’s children are old enough to buy soy sauce, and she doesn’t even have a husband. It’s all my fault, Your Majesty, I’m truly afraid that one day I’ll die on the battlefield and never see even a hair of a husband. Your Majesty, you must help this old minister, help that girl Pan’er!"
Emperor Chu: It’s your fault, not mine, crying as if I owe you something.
"Rest assured, my beloved subject, there are many young men in the capital, surely one matches Commandery Princess Dongyang. But what kind of son-in-law are you looking for, so I may have an idea!"
Without thinking, Prince Dingbei said: "Say no more, he must be handsome."
Handsome, it seems this is a face-loving Lord Taishan!
"My beloved subject, handsomeness doesn’t put food on the table, men also need responsibility."
"I don’t care, just handsome," Prince Dingbei shook his head, "Whether or not he’s responsible does not matter, my Pan’er can handle that. But my Pan’er is not enough of a beauty, as you’ve seen, utterly plain. What if the son-in-law isn’t handsome, wouldn’t my grandson be ugly too?"
"Your Majesty, handsome people are always pleasant to look at, and when they go out, they get a second glance, and even a discount when buying things. Don’t laugh, some talented handsome folks are showered with freebies. I don’t expect my grandson to take advantage, but if he’s handsome, it gives me face!"
Emperor Chu: I am utterly speechless.
"As long as he’s handsome, you won’t mind anything else, not even if he’s talentless or lacks virtue?" Emperor Chu raised an eyebrow.
Prince Dingbei was shocked: "Your Majesty, how could you grant my Pan’er a talentless and unscrupulous lad, who would sully your wise and martial reputation? Don’t tease this old minister, I’m counting on you for her husband."
Emperor Chu chuckled, the wily old fox—if you believe him playing dumb, you’re the real fool.