Jaehwan then realized he had lived in that space a long time ago. He also realized he will never return to that space anymore. His cheeks became wet.
“Jaehwan! Jaehwan!”
The doctor was shaking him by the shoulders but Jaehwan couldn’t feel it. The twenty-year-old Jaehwan was now stronger than the young doctor. Jaehwan’s struggle threw the doctor to the ground and Jaehwan kept on ripping the charts. He screamed like a mad man as he ripped them.
And in the midst of the ripped charts, he found something.
There was a document that was full of words. Jaehwan picked it up.
“J-Jaehwan! Wait! That is…!”
Even though the doctor was trying to stop him, Jaehwan read it through. Soon, Jaehwan realized that the document wasn’t an ordinary recording. The document had a very familiar story in it and started with the following:
-The Fall always starts everywhere.
Familiar sentences. Jaehwan read a few more paragraphs.
-Ten-year-old Jaehwan was also a victim of such a Fall.
The doctor was now looking at Jaehwan as if he had given up now. Page after page, Jaehwan kept on reading the stories. It was only after he went through most of the pages that Jaehwan’s shaking hand stopped.
“…Doctor. What is this?”
“Jaehwan.”
“Answer me. What is this?”
“I-I’m sorry. I was going to tell you… I mean- I was going to ask for your permission to…”
What Jaehwan read was a short novel. A cleanly written short novel. It had Jaehwan’s story in it. A ten-year-old boy who was being consulted because of domestic violence. A boy who denied reality, who eventually created a delusional world, and had to live in it….
Doctor’s word shot past Jaehwan’s head then.
-If the day comes when you can see your world with an unbiased view, people will pay to peek into your world.
That was the reason why the doctor talked about the writing contest, and his suggestion for Jaehwan to major in literature. Everything came together like a puzzle. Jaehwan’s hand began to shiver in anger again.
Was this the reason for all that?
Jaehwan was filled with rage. He felt like everything in the world was worthless and he felt stupid. Jaehwan looked at the doctor. The doctor couldn’t even bear to look at Jaehwan anymore. Jaehwan asked, “Was this reason you cared for me all this time?”
“Jaehwan, please. Listen to-”
“To write this?! Was that the reason for the free consultations? To listen to my stories?!”
“Jaehwan! No! That’s not it!”
“What is it then>!”
“It’s…”
“My story was just a ‘novel’ to you then?!”
The doctor shook his head strongly. It was an innocent shake, making it hard to believe that it had come from a middle aged man. Jaehwan did not stop shouting however.
“You’ve been writing this behind my back all this time! You’ve been trying to use my stories for your money! And you DARE claim that you believe my world?! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!”
The doctor tried to speak in shock multiple times, but he eventually looked down. Jaehwan then ripped the novel into pieces in front of the doctor and burst out of the room. He heard a nurse calling him from the back, but Jaehwan did not look back and left the hospital.
He ran and ran. He ran for a long time and realized he couldn’t see the hospital anymore. There wasn’t anyone following him either.
And through the snowing sky, Jaehwan puffed white breaths. As the cold snow touched his cheek, his destroyed heart slowly came back to itself.
‘Why did I share my story with that kind of man?’
Deep regret filled Jaehwan’s heart.
‘He believes my story?’
‘He really believes that my world — that the Tree of Imagery really exists?’
Jaehwan was filled with tears of rage. He should not have trusted anyone. He knew that trust could only return in such a way and still he did it. He was too naïve. Was it becoming young that made him think that he had really become young again? Memories of the past 10 years quickly flashed past him.
He had been stupid all along. He gritted his teeth as he thought about the doctor being friendly for all those years.
‘Trust? I don’t need your trust. My world is real. Even without any trust, it will be proven naturally.’ Jaehwan thought as he looked up to the white sky.
Time was coming. The tower was going to appear soon, the tower that will save him from this world. That Fall will come for him soon.
Jaehwan slowly walked home. Jaehwan’s footprints was covered by the new snow that fell onto it. Jaehwan swore to never go back to the hospital anymore.
Two weeks later…
The day came silently during the midst of a snowy winter day.
Jaehwan was looking up to the sky. He was in the military in the past, but he did not enlist in the military this time. He knew it was pointless if the tower appeared again. Instead, Jaehwan climbed up a high mountain every day to look up into the sky.
He looked and looked.
He looked at the snowy sky, a rainy sky, and a clear sky.
The tower did not appear, but Jaehwan waited.
It was late. The tower had to appear.
But then the next day came, and the next day. The tower did not appear.
And then came the last day of 2018. Jaehwan stood still and looked at the sky where the new year’s sun was coming up. It was an unbelievably glorious and beautiful sight. Lovers held their hands and families hugged each other as they cheered for the coming of the new year.
In the middle of everyone cheering and blessing the new year, only Jaehwan waited for the Fall. He believed that the tower was going to appear soon. However, people left one by one, and even after lovers went down the mountain while holding their hands, the Fall still did not come.
The tower did not appear.
Jaehwan stood there, looking directly at the peaceful sky for a long time.
And then Jaehwan turned twenty-one years old.