Chapter 404: Chapter 404: Cross-Dressing Female General VS Enchanting Femme Fatale (26) Chapter 404: Chapter 404: Cross-Dressing Female General VS Enchanting Femme Fatale (26) “Father, look at me,” Gu Shengyin began.
Old General Fu was somewhat surprised. After his daughter came of age, their relationship had become particularly strained, and she rarely took the initiative to start a conversation.
Gu Shengyin spoke slowly, “Actually, when I was very young, I admired father a lot.”
Her gaze seemed distant, as if returning to a time long past, “I remember, back then you were still young. Even though you were always so serious, I desperately wanted to be close to you. Because I thought my father was incredibly capable, unmatched by anyone else’s.”
“Even though from that time you had me start learning how to stand in the horse stance, running in the snow in just a shirt during winter, practicing hitting the stake… I felt wronged, but still I gritted my teeth and persevered. Because when doing these things, I was hoping I could do my best, and then, Father, you would praise me.”
“But later on, I realized I could never satisfy you. Even if my spear technique could sweep away all my peers, even if I could exceed the goals you set for me every day, I still couldn’t make you the slightest bit pleased.”
“Because I’m not the successor you were hoping for, because I am a daughter!” Gu Shengyin said, her eyes blazing as if fierce flames were leaping out, intense and startling.
“From the moment I realized the difference between men and women, I understood my fate in this life. While other girls were enjoying poetry and flowers in groups, calling friends for moonlit boat rides, dressing up beautifully for outdoor excursions, I was working hard, bit by bit, trying to do better. I didn’t ask for much, only hoping you would affirm me, show me a smile out of fear. Tell me that even though I am just a daughter, I am no less than any son!”
“But there was none!” Gu Shengyin suddenly laughed, but her eyes were brimming with redness, “I know you don’t like me. Sometimes on the battlefield, when facing the enemy’s swords, I even thought about not dodging, letting them strike me. Why should I carry so much, if I can’t even enjoy a bit of ease and happiness while I am alive? What’s the point of living for what others see as Fu Yunzhen?”
“But you won, Father. The ideas you ingrained in me from childhood made it impossible for me to escape, to end it all with death, like a coward. I can’t let go of the Fu Family’s century-long reputation, I can’t let go of the soldiers of the Heavenly Fate Dynasty on the frontier, and I know that this is what my life will be like.”
“Enough!” Old General Fu had never imagined that this was what his daughter held in her heart.
His strictness with her, his lack of smiles, was never because she was a daughter. She had always been the pride of his heart.
As she grew older and he saw her less and less, it wasn’t because he cared for her any less, but because every time he looked at his daughter’s face, so reminiscent of his late wife, the guilt that surged in his heart made it unbearable to face his daughter.
He had never known that this child harbored so many unspoken thoughts, nor did he know that what lay between them was such a great misunderstanding.
The sourness welling up in his heart nearly brought him to his knees, and as he looked at his stubborn-faced daughter staring steadfastly back at him, the wall in Old General Fu’s heart finally came crashing down.
“I was wrong.” At last, he said the words that he had hidden in his heart for many years.