Hulk was a pro football player, a guy who loved nothing more than clutching a pigskin and barreling through the defense like a runaway freight train. He lived for the gridiron.
But he never, in his wildest dreams, imagined he'd see a pair of nipples bigger than a football.
The moment he opened his eyes, Hulk was dumbfounded.
He wanted to yell, "What the fuck?!" but all that came out was a pathetic "Wah! Wah!"
"My voice..." He was shocked, trying again, but only managing another infantile wail. The horrifying realization dawned on him: he was a baby. Again.
He strained to look around, finding himself swaddled in soft cloth. Towering over him were giants, massive and rugged, each one several times his former height. Other than their size, they looked remarkably human.
Hearing his cries, the giantess holding him gazed down with loving eyes. Her voice, deep and gentle, rumbled, "My little one must be hungry. Come now, eat your fill. All this is for you."
With that, she brought a nipple, the size of a goddamn football, close to Hulk's mouth.
Hulk's eyes widened, his inner turmoil a raging storm. Before he could react, a torrent of milk erupted, practically drowning him in the stuff.
He had to gulp it down or risk choking. His tiny stomach quickly filled, stretched to its absolute limit.
After his milk bath, Hulk's memory began to return.
He remembered leading his team to the National Championship, followed by a relaxing vacation in Hawaii, basking in the warm sun. Sunlight glistened on the golden sand, a gentle breeze carrying the scent of the ocean.
He was chilling on the beach, engrossed in a web novel on his phone, when he felt something splat on his face.
"Damn, bird poop?"
Hulk instinctively wiped his face. It was sticky, and strangely... hot.
"The hell is this stuff?"
He brought his hand into view. His eyes went wide.
It was blood. And it seemed to be... alive. It slithered down his chest, seeping into his skin, merging with his very heart.
"What the... Am I hallucinating?"
Hulk rubbed his eyes, staring at his hands.
Suddenly, the sky darkened. He looked up to see a figure in outer space, larger than Earth itself. A giant, of unimaginable proportions.
The giant's body eclipsed the sun, plunging the world into shadow.
Then, a trident, too massive to describe, descended from the heavens, crashing into the ocean. A colossal wave erupted, the earth quaked, the world seemed to be ending. People screamed and scattered.
But Hulk didn't panic. He closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable.
What could puny humans do against such a cataclysmic force?
As darkness closed in, one thought crossed his mind: "Fuck me, my vacation might have to end early."
...
Time seemed to stop. Everything went blank.
Maybe a microsecond passed, maybe a millennium.
When Hulk's consciousness returned, he wasn't on a Hawaiian beach anymore. He was in a strange forest, surrounded by towering trees, exotic plants he'd never seen before, the air thick with the scent of earth.
As he tried to process his surroundings, a giant figure approached. At least fifteen feet tall, muscles rippling, arms like tree trunks. His deep brown skin gleamed in the sunlight, short black hair framing a rugged face, his eyes shining with warmth.
"Phoebe, let me hold him!"
The giant lunged forward, but a slightly smaller giantess deftly sidestepped him.
"Hyperion Stoneheart, you're the chieftain now, but you're still a brute! Our son is just born, he's fragile. Be gentle!"
"Haha, alright, alright."
Hyperion gently scooped up Hulk, his face beaming with paternal pride.
"Praise the Titan Gods! I have a son! His name shall be Orion Stoneheart!"