Deep within the dense forest, beside a crackling campfire.
Tsunade and Yuhi Kurenai both stared intently at Kamizuki Hikari, their eyes filled with silent accusation.
A strange, oddly cheerful giggle escaped Hikari's lips, making Tsunade and Kurenai clench their fists in irritation.
"How about I beat him up, and you pretend you didn't see anything?" Tsunade suggested.
Kurenai seemed tempted, but after a moment of hesitation, she shook her head. "But... he hasn't really done anything to deserve such treatment... Wouldn't that be unfair?"
"Relax. Men need a beating!"
Tsunade had both old grudges and new ones to settle. Just thinking about how Hikari had disrespected her in his head before made her fists itch with anticipation.
"Still... this doesn't feel quite right." Kurenai said, though not as firmly as before.
"Enough talking—let's do it!"
A loud slap echoed through the night. Hikari's eyes snapped open. Seeing Kurenai standing in front of him with her hand raised and her cheeks flushed, he instantly understood what had happened.
"Oh, Kurenai... you woke me up so late... are you planning to do something naughty with me?"
Their minds blanked for a second, question marks practically floating above their heads.
"Come on!" Hikari continued smoothly. "I already scouted a nice spot—a flower field, secluded and romantic. Perfect for some... intimate bonding."
"Uh..." Kurenai pointed at Tsunade. "If I said it wasn't me who slapped you, would you believe me?"
Tsunade looked at Hikari with zero guilt, her expression clearly saying: Yeah, I did it. What are you gonna do about it?
[Of course I know it was this big-breasted woman who slapped me. But still—when picking a fight, always go for the easier target!]
"Kurenai, don't be so shy!" Hikari sighed dramatically. "I won't judge you for being forward. Tsunade-sama is here, but we can sneak away for an hour or two. She won't mind."
And that smile only widened when she saw Hikari avoid meeting her gaze.
"An hour, huh? Kid, you're really overselling yourself."
"As a medical-nin, I specialize in human physiology. The average man's endurance is something I know very well. An hour? Impossible. If you last even half that, I'd be shocked."
Kurenai's face turned crimson. Hikari, however, only looked more intrigued.
"Tsunade-sama, I never lie. If you don't believe me, why don't we test it? If I last an hour, you apologize. If I don't, I'll give you 200,000 ryō. Deal?"
"Alright then, let's—" Tsunade trailed off, just as Hikari's eyes sparkled with anticipation.
"Well? Go on!" Hikari urged.
With a cold chuckle, Tsunade reached out and pinched his cheek. "You think I'm some naive little girl who'd fall for that? You think 200,000 ryo is enough to drag me into the woods? You must really look down on me!"
[So... she wants me to raise the price?]
Hikari didn't resist. Tsunade's pinch wasn't painful—just mildly annoying.
[If she'd actually gone with me, I'd have made sure she enjoyed every second of that hour. She'd be grinning in her sleep afterward.]
Tsunade gave one last squeeze before letting go, stepping back.
"Earlier, someone was giggling like an idiot in his sleep. I almost thought he'd gone crazy."
Giggling in his sleep?
Wait... are they talking about him?
Hikari turned to look at Kurenai, silently pleading with her to tell him Tsunade was lying.
[Kurenai, you're fair and just. You wouldn't side with this busty woman, right?]
Tsunade mentally added another black mark to Hikari's record, regretting not hitting him harder earlier. For origınal chapters go to 𝕟𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕝•𝖿𝗂𝗋𝖾•𝘯𝘦𝘵
"Well... Hikari, you really were laughing weirdly in your sleep. Kinda... pervy, honestly." Kurenai offered, trying to be as diplomatic as possible.
Hikari's eyes widened. He pointed to his face in disbelief. "Me? Pervy?"
"Impossible!" Hikari shook his head. "A handsome guy like me? No way!"
"Oh, come on" Tsunade waved it off. "There's nothing wrong with a man being a little perverted."
"Instead of arguing, why don't you tell us what you were dreaming about? Must've been good to make you laugh like that."
The moment she said that, Kamizuki Hikari's gaze turned evasive.
[How do I explain that I was having a very pleasant dream about certain activities?]
[Wait—my underwear isn't wet, is it? It does feel kinda warm...]
The sheer audacity of that thought made even Tsunade, a seasoned veteran of innuendo, want to pretend she hadn't heard it.
Kurenai might not have understood, but Tsunade, as a medical-nin, knew exactly what he meant. When doctors decided to drive the conversation into the gutter, even the fastest racer couldn't keep up.
"It was nothing." Hikari lied smoothly. "Just a dream about getting rich."
Kurenai bought it easily. Tsunade, however, saw right through him.
With Hikari's current net worth, he could easily rank at the top of Konoha's richest individuals. The idea that a dream about money would make him this happy? That was an insult to her intelligence.
"Alright, go back to sleep!" Tsunade said, rolling her eyes. "You've got guard duty in an hour."
Hikari's eye twitched. "So you wake me up just to tell me to sleep again?"
[You ruined such a great dream! I swear, if you don't stop with this, I'll make that dream come true right here and now!]
"There's still an hour left!" Tsunade said casually. "If you don't want to sleep, then I will."
Kamizuki Hikari sighed in defeat. His real body was asleep, while his Yin Release clone had gone to Konoha to kill someone.
A true case of murder in your dreams.
The worst part? That dream just now... it was a once-in-a-lifetime masterpiece.
And Tsunade ruined it.
"Fine. If you're not sleeping, then I will!" Tsunade declared. "If you two decide to 'explore' each other, keep it down."
With that, she flopped onto the ground and was out like a light.
Leaving behind a confused Kurenai, who felt like she'd missed something important, and a thoroughly annoyed Hikari.
As he watched Tsunade drift off, a wicked thought crossed his mind.
[Just be grateful there are others around... otherwise, I'd really make you laugh in your sleep.]
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