Seated on as many comfy pillows as the two of them could find, I took a few deep breaths and tried to relax. The last time I’d been in another Vampire’s head, I’d seen lots of disturbing images. Gibbon had been a serial killer before he was turned, and I also discovered he had an abusive stepmother when he was younger; she had ended up being his first victim. I was a little worried about stepping out of myself and into such a disturbing world, but Brandon had been assuring me all afternoon that the chances of me finding someone else like Gibbon were unlikely.
He was right—and maybe that was also part of the problem. What if I reached out into the blackness and came away empty handed? I had learned my place on this team pretty quickly. The other girls in the locker room might’ve been right to assume that the only reason I’d been given this spot was because I am Cadence’s sister—but then I am also the only Hybrid, which could’ve earned me a spot even if I’d never met Cadence before that fateful night in Philly when I’d intended to take my fate in my own hands and almost ended up dead. I may not be a Healer like Jamie or a habitual liar like Brandon and Elliott, but there are certain things only I can do, and this is one of them.
This was the first time my sister had asked me to really use my power to help out the team, though. She’d asked me to reach out with my mind to gather information about the Blue Moon Portal, but that was for her own devices. At the time, I didn’t know that’s what I was looking for, and I definitely didn’t know why. Maybe I would’ve tried a little harder if I’d had any idea she was trying to bring Elliott back, not that it mattered. At any rate, my team was counting on me to gather information about why the Vampires were acting this way, where they were going, and as I sat there with the February breeze stirring my hair, the weight of it all crushed me a bit.
“Cass, it’ll be fine,” Brandon assured me, kneeling down in front of me before he left. I told him I’d feel better actually making contact on my own.
“I know.” I said the words, but there was no emotion behind them. He knew it as well as I did. Part of me was afraid of failing the team, but the other part was afraid of being successful. What would this mean for me if I am able to access other Vampires at will? What does that make me?
“Listen, I’ll be right on the other side of the door, okay? As soon as you’re done, just let me know, and I’ll be right here. And if you don’t say anything for a half hour or so, I’m coming up to check on you, all right?”
He looked so sincere, his eyes twinkling in the starlight, which was much more profound than I would’ve thought considering how close we were to the metroplex. I nodded at him, grateful, once again, that he was in my life. I had no idea how I could’ve managed any of this without him. “Thanks.”
He gave me a quick kiss and then headed toward the door slowly. I know it was hard for him to walk away because he cares so much about me. Sometimes I think I’m not worthy of that, that I haven’t done enough to earn it, but he gives it to me freely, and I’m blessed that he does.
I waited until I heard the door click shut and then took a few more deep breaths. The stars were already bright, but they seemed to shift, to reach out with their pointy protrusions and come even closer to me. I closed my eyes and did the same, reaching out with my mind, like a star trying to burn brighter.
At first, there was nothing. Everything was exactly the same as it was when I was staring into the sky. I could feel the wind on my face, my hair on my neck. Off in the distance, I could hear the sounds of cars winding their way through campus. Occasionally, an airplane would whiz nearby. Then, everything shifted, and the world began to crinkle up at the edges and fade to black.
It stayed that way long enough to make me uncomfortable such that I almost backed out of it. But then, just when I was near to abandoning ship, static charged my line of vision like when an old television set is fighting to get a signal, and I used all of my strength to focus on that flickering, to bring it into view.
My mind was suddenly somewhere else. I was transported through distance and time so that I was standing in a field of beautiful yellow and white flowers. The green grass smelled fresh as rain as it tickled my bare legs. I looked down to see I was wearing a pale blue dress, clutching a corncob doll in my left hand. But I wasn’t alone. In my right hand, I felt the comforting sensation of someone I loved and glanced up to see who was with me. The sun shone bright behind her head, and I couldn’t quite see her face, but I knew immediately this was my mother. She smiled down at me, her face haloed by the sun, and I felt safe and loved.
The vision flickered, and though I was still standing in the tall prairie grass, I could tell I was older now, taller. Gone was the doll, and my mother was no longer with me. I didn’t feel afraid though. Off in the distance, I could see a small, wooden house that looked to be made of hand-hewn timbers. I felt proud looking at it, knowing my pa built that for us. I loved it out here in the open prairie, the forest off in the distance. Sure, it was a hard life, and there were threats and dangers everywhere, but my ma and pa made us feel safe, and above all else, my sisters and brothers and I were loved and cared for.
But all that changed suddenly. No longer standing in the prairie, I was now inside the cabin, and the feeling of safety was gone. I was huddled in the corner of the bed I shared with my sisters, and I knew we were no longer alone. The cabin door flew open and three or four human-like forms flooded the small space so quickly, I couldn’t keep track of them. There was screaming, running, and blood everywhere I looked. I tried hiding beneath the blanket, but it didn’t work. They found me.
And then… I wasn’t me anymore. I was someone else—something else. Waves of confusion overcame me as I tried to sort out who I was and what had become of me. My father had spoken of these monsters many times before, but he’d always said we would be safe, that they couldn’t or wouldn’t be able to harm us. He was wrong. Most of my family was dead now. And I was one of those creatures.
There was another flicker, and suddenly, I was no longer this prairie girl—I was me again, Cassidy Findley--but I hadn’t left her head. My mind wandered, reaching out again, as I shouted questions. “What’s going on? Who’s there?” At first, there was no response. And then, a question popped into my head that wasn’t mine.
“Who are you?”