Duan Shurong replied, “I have no time today. I already have a date with my girlfriends, but I remember that your workplace is quite near to the TV station, I get off work at 5:30pm. So if you want to have dinner with me, remember to ask me one day in advance!”
He Jin smiled bitterly. Even if Duan Shurong was available that day, he wouldn’t be able to make it, and he might even have to take a day off the next day.
“Okay, then I’ll text you again.” After texting with Duan Shurong back and forth, the taxi had already arrived He Jin’s home.
After settling the bill and getting off the taxi, he walked upstairs with much difficulty. Before entering home, he adjusted his breath for a bit, as he wanted to face his family normally and not let them find out anything wrong with him. However, he was looking so pale, without a sense of blood on his face, his eyes were swollen and the skin on his lips were cracked. No matter how much he wanted to hide, his parents would find out in a second.
“He Jin! You’re back!” Seeing He Jin’s soulless look, his mother eagerly approached and greeted him.
He Jin did not try to hide. Unexpectedly, he looked at his mother worriedly and he seemed to feel very guilty. He stretched out his hand and held the anxious old woman into his arms, then whispered, “mom, it’s alright. I’m back, and I’m fine.”
His mother’s eyes suddenly turned red. At this moment, her son was still caring about her, and all she wanted was her son to be well, “are you worried that I’ll suffer again? See how well we are…silly, now tell mom, why would you have such thoughts? You have such a stable job, and we’ve already bought you an apartment for your marriage. If those women didn’t know how good you are, it’s just that they’re not fortunate enough!”
“Am I good…” He Jin was confused. He thought that he’s far from good.
His mother patted on his back lightly, as if he’d become a little kid of five to six years old again. The kid that hadn’t grown up and still needed someone to take care of, a kid that could only depend on her, “of course you are, you haven’t seen the aunties and neighbors praising you, and they’re envious of us having such a filial son!”
He Jin didn’t know whether he should cry or laugh. The self that he wanted to deny so much had turned out to be best in others’ eyes.
“Okay, okay, how old are you now? Why can’t you even take this? Mom has to criticize you again.”
Seeing that his mother was going to lecture him again, He Jin said weakly, “mom, I’m tired now, I want to sleep for a while in my room. Ok?”
He Jin’s mother went on blaming him a bit about him drinking too much. Then, she let him ago and allowed him to rest first. Initially, she still had something to ask He Jin, but all was interrupted by He Jin’s warm hug.
In fact, during the half an hour when she was waiting for He Jin, his mother had thought a lot.
After more than half a year of regular psychological treatment, she also realized some of the psychological damages she had caused to her family and her son. Now, her condition was improved a lot. Knowing that she’s sick, she dared not get too emotional either. She finally realized the feeling of having a “huge stone” pressing her brain, it’s an entirely feeling when she could think normally and clearly.
He Jin’s mother recalled the few words that He Jin had told her on the phone. He was so desperate and he felt so hopeless. All of a sudden, she had an unprecedented panic, and this kind of panic was different from the times when her depression took its toll on her. Previously, she was scared of losing control over He Jin, just like He Lin who had left her. However, it was completely different this time. He felt that He Jin was asking for help from her, like a child that had been pushed to his limit.
Since he was small, He Jin had been very tough. Although he looked very gentle on the surface, he’s always tough and determined. He would only give way to someone after being suppressed.
Therefore, since He Jin had grown up, he had never asked his mother for help. This had put her at ease, as she was reassured of having done a good job being a mother. However, this had put her into panic as well, as she had no way to find out what problems her son was facing, and what she could do to help…
After He Jin returned to his bedroom, she went on having more crazy thoughts. Then, she asked her husband, “hey, Lao He, haven’t you found out that our son is having some issues lately? He was obviously quite well before, how come he’s suddenly like this now? What do you think has happened?”
He Jin’s father was watching them since the beginning, and he couldn’t hold on to it anymore. He sat down and asked, “you only found out now?”
He Jin’s mother, “what do you mean by that?”
He Jin’s father, “I discovered long time ago that He Jin wasn’t happy, but I never said anything because I didn’t want to irritate you.”
He Jin’s mother was getting angry, “so are you blaming me now? You think that I’m happy to have this depression? Will you both be relieved if I die?”
He Jin’s father was helpless, “see, here it goes again. You always mention about going to die, you think we want to hear that? Have you taken your medicine?”