I felt strange about Wu Yu now. Looking at his face, even though it was the same face as half a month ago, I felt familiar and estranged at the same time.
Perhaps this was how women felt when they saw heartless men.
Not thinking clearly, I unintentionally blurted out, I want to go with you to Li Xian!
He stared at me, but all I could think about was cutting my tongue off. What was I thinking?
Thats all I can think about?
I put on a serious look before I calmly said, Since it is related to the ship, I want to go see what the situation is like.
You shouldnt go. If anything happens, I would have to take care of you too. Plus, its really not good for me to bring someone to visit the professor.
And so Wu Yu and I parted ways normally like two normal friends. As I was about to leave the shop, I even casually asked him, Oh yeah, when do you want to get the clothes you left at my place last time? At that moment, he was already down on the ground, fixing another car. With his back to me, he said, Ill go get it after coming back from Li Xian.
Sure. I turned and walked away.
After taking a few steps, I turned and looked at his thin, tank-top-covered muscular back, leaving nothing to the imagination. I felt a strong urge at that moment to give him a good punch.
In the end, I left the place with my thoughts wandering about.
After that, I spent the next two hours absent-minded. While eating, watching TV, or surfing the net, I felt my mind was somewhere else. A voice inside me kept reminding me that there was no chance between him and me. Perhaps it was also unlikely in the short term nor would it be possible later on as well. Knowing myself, I knew I would not cling to him as if nothing had happened. Since he had no more feelings for me, I must work hard to remove him from my heart as well.
However, the things he said on the phone that night at the barbeque shop rang in my mind:
Ruying...
How did Ruying change so drastically?
Ill go see you and Ruying tomorrow.
Not only that, when he talked about that woman, the shadow of a gentle smile appeared on his lips even though his eyes were on me. Xiao Hua even said that the woman Wu Yu thought about was actually her?
Although I did not believe that he would look toward me while thinking about another woman, who knows. Maybe this arrogant nerd had a girlfriend in the past? Not only that, even though he had admitted his feelings for me, he was able to easily let me go. This meant that his feelings for me were actually too shallow, making it easy for him to let go.
I felt a sting in my heart when I thought about this.
If he can do it, I can do it as well.
My thoughts rolled in my mind countless times until I finally laid on the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling. Even though my thoughts were a mess, some thoughts had become clear to me. It was as if the flow of messy thoughts had washed through, leaving only some things behind.
He was able to let me go. I knew I had to let him go because I could not stand being treated like this.
But am I willing to?
Am I willing to let go and not fall in love with him for the rest of my life? Could I instead go with someone else after having some time to recover?
Leaving that man called Wu Yu. That arrogant man on the ship. That repairman with well-defined muscles. That man that kissed me passionately.
Tears rolled down my face all of a sudden, and then it struck me.
I was not willing.
I wanted to be with him. In fact, I had not been able to get him out of my mind ever since the day I saw him. I had fallen hard for him.