Because the child is obedient, they are happy.
There’s actually nothing wrong with that.
"You think Xiao Jie makes things easy for you, so what was your reaction afterward?"
Nan Zhubin posed a crucial question: "Did it make your life more convenient?"
This question is very sharp.
This question, Doctor Chen did not answer.
The answer is obviously yes.
In a family where parents are busy with work and frequently argue as a result, children often fall into one of two extremes:
One, becoming rebellious.
Two, behaving obediently.
And evidently, Chen Jie is the latter.
For Doctor Chen and his wife, Chen Jie’s behavior undoubtedly made them feel fortunate.
With their busy work lives, having such a "sensible" daughter who didn’t require much care or worry.
So, the parents could justifiably and comfortably focus their energy on work.
And consequently, they further neglected their daughter.
Ultimately, leading to their attention on their daughter diminishing to a critical point.
Nan Zhubin turned slightly to face Doctor Chen more directly: "You used to frequently argue at home in the past, and these arguments might have been overheard by Xiao Jie. Did you ever comfort her or discuss these issues with her?"
Doctor Chen slowly shook his head: "No."
"Because Xiao Jie... was sensible."
Nan Zhubin lowered his gaze.
He continued: "When at home, did Xiao Jie ever actively express what she wanted? Like those extracurricular classes you mentioned, did she ever want to attend them herself... or conversely, did she ever say she didn’t want to?"
Doctor Chen paused for a moment, then slowly shook his head again.
"Xiao Jie... never said anything, she just... was obedient."
"She never expressed anything voluntarily not only regarding her studies... even the decoration of her room, her clothes, the places she went to play, were all arranged by her mother and me; when she occasionally got first place or won an award, and we’d go out to eat something nice to celebrate, she also said she didn’t know, and just followed our lead..."
Nan Zhubin keenly caught a keyword: "Eating something nice to celebrate—do you know what Xiao Jie likes to eat?"
Doctor Chen answered this time quickly.
He seemed like a drowning man grasping at a straw, eager to prove something: "Grilled fish, Chaozhou hot pot, seafood; for home cooking, she particularly likes bone soup, also steamed fish, stir-fried bean sprouts with beef, tomato and egg, steamed egg custard..."
Nan Zhubin listened silently.
These dishes Doctor Chen remembered deeply, reciting them without fault.
Nan Zhubin even believed that after Chen Jie’s passing, Doctor Chen would often recall these things.
But after Doctor Chen finished saying these things.
Nan Zhubin silently asked another question: "How did you know Xiao Jie liked these? Did she ever actively say she wanted you to make these dishes?"
"No, she didn’t say so actively. But when we asked, ’Shall we have stir-fried bean sprouts with beef tomorrow?’ she would happily agree, and at the table, she’d eat a lot..."
Nan Zhubin nodded: "But, these dishes, they’re what you like to eat, right? Initially, and even later on, weren’t they dishes that you suggested making?"
Doctor Chen trembled all over.
He bent his neck, slowly letting his hand rest on his forehead.
But this action seemed insufficient to support himself, so he fully collapsed, hugging his entire head with his arms.
In a daze, Doctor Chen felt something fundamental in his cognition seemed to be shattered.
Some things collapsed, while others were beginning to be supported and reorganized by Nan Zhubin.
Until now, Doctor Chen seemed to realize how vast the difference was between what Nan Zhubin said about "obedience" and "sensibility".
And how significant the loopholes were in their once-proud "conflict-free" harmonious parent-child relationship.
Regarding the question raised by Doctor Chen, only now did he truly have an answer he could accept.
Nan Zhubin continued analyzing.
As if explaining, or perhaps comforting.
"In psychology, there’s a course called ’Developmental Psychology’, which studies the psychological changes throughout a person’s life."
"And from the perspective of developmental psychology... obedient children are actually very problematic, and even very unhealthy."
Nan Zhubin explained: "Young people—or ’children’—are supposed to constantly explore the world and form their own worldviews. They need to continuously experiment through their actions; under parental supervision and care, even if they make ’mistakes’, the consequences can usually be managed."
"This ’trial and error’ seems like ’naughtiness’ or ’mischief’ to the average person, but in reality, it is an essential process of forming their own worldview, life view, and values."
Nan Zhubin’s tone was light, gentle.
"And obedient children... they lack this process."
Obviously, Chen Jie is this obedient child.
"These obedient children entirely depend on their parents during their growth, their parents are their gods. Yet, they seldom, or almost never, learn anything from being around their parents—because all they need is to be obedient."
"When they leave their parents and begin to live independently, they find themselves suddenly directionless, being forced to think independently when they are almost incapable of independent thinking."
"Consequently, there arises severe anxiety, depression, and other negative emotions."
"Some obedient children may bumble through and grow up; and without their parents as a fallback, they have to pay a heavier price compared to those naughty kids from childhood, but eventually, they can slowly learn and grow."
"As for the other part of the kids..."
At this point, Nan Zhubin sighed again.
"They... look for new ’parents’ to cling to."
Nan Zhubin glanced at Doctor Chen and hesitated a bit.
"Actually, I have always had a suspicion..."
"Lin Lulin’s drug abuse could proceed so smoothly and advance to such a degree in Xiao Jie simply because Xiao Jie regarded Lin Lulin as a new... ’father’."
The topic once again reached a too heavy segment.
With this, Doctor Chen said nothing.
And at this point, Nan Zhubin’s analysis ended.
Weng Pinting grasped the steering wheel, quickly turned left at the intersection ahead, causing all three people in the car to lean their bodies involuntarily, then suddenly straightened up again, as if the entire person was lightly tossed by a large hand.
Doctor Chen suddenly spoke at this moment.
"Xiao Jie did have a request."
Nan Zhubin looked over.
"During the college application process, she wanted to study medicine."
"But, her first and only wish was vetoed by us. Because we thought studying medicine was too hard, we actually felt guilty for not being able to give Xiao Jie a more complete family, a more accompanied life, and we didn’t want her to be like us..."