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TL: ALT
Chapter 62 – Honoka-chan’s Determination
I took the train from Shinjuku Station back to my hometown to try something I’ve wanted to do since the day before yesterday.
I take a local train from the local station to the terminal station.
From the terminal bus stop, I take a bus to Tengumine Shrine.
It is a little awkward to meet Honoka-chan and Haruka-san after having such a conversation with Serika yesterday, but today is not about them but about the dungeon.
The day before yesterday, I failed to summon a Phantom Beast due to a lack of space.
I wanted to try again in the boss room of the Tengumine Shrine Dungeon.
The boss of the Tengumine Shrine dungeon is Daidara.
The boss room in the Tengumine Shrine dungeon is much larger than other dungeons, perhaps to accommodate its enormous size.
With so much space, it would be hard to say that it was not spacious enough.
I mean, if I can’t summon the Phantom Beast even with that much space, where am I going to use the Phantom Beast?
It would be almost useless in the dungeon, and no matter how powerful the Phantom Beast was, it would be a valuable possession.
Due to my lack of sleep last night, the bus arrived at the mountaintop shrine while I was dozing off.
I got off the bus,
“Yuto-san!
Honoka-chan ran up to me.
Even though the purpose of this trip was to go to the dungeon, it would have been unfair to leave without saying hello after coming all the way here.
I had told Honoka-chan in advance that I would come here today.
“It’s been a while… I guess. What are you wearing?”
I asked because Honoka-chan was wearing an unfamiliar outfit.
I wondered if it was called Yamabushi (Mountain Priest).
She was wearing an all-white kimono and leg bands and even a straw hat on her head.
“I will be attending the traditional Yamabushi training at Tengumine Shrine.”
“Yamabushi training?”
“Yes. It is a perfect way to become one with nature. I want to draw power from the elven blood I inherited from my mother and be able to communicate with the spirits.”
“Is that something you can achieve with all the training in this world?”
“If Mother says so, then there is no doubt about it.”
If Haruka-san says it, it must be true.
“Yuto-san is way ahead of me as an explorer. I didn’t ask you for details, but you’re getting stronger in a special way, aren’t you?”
“…I suppose so.”
I haven’t told Honoka-chan or Haruka-san about Escape or the money I made from it.
It’s not that I don’t trust them; I just didn’t need to tell them.
“I thought that in order to stand next to Yuto-san, I had to have something special. My mother taught me to be an explorer, but I’m sure that won’t be enough.”
Honoka-chan said with eyes that held a strong determination.
I feel guilty, Honoka-chan.
Because I already gave Serika…
I haven’t given Serika a proper answer yet, but still, the sooner I make it clear, the better.
If Honoka-chan is going to go through rigorous training for me, it’s especially important.
I was about to open my mouth, but Honoka-chan stopped me.
“…Please wait.”
Honoka-chan sighed.
“I know that Yuto-san and Serika-san are a perfect match. I also know that you have a strong bond with each other.”
When I was about to open my mouth again, she stopped me,
“But I want to be strong. No, I have to be strong. To protect myself and to protect my mother. For that reason―can you not let me lose hope yet?”
“Honoka-chan…”
“I think I depend on others all the time. I am afraid of everything, I have no self-confidence, and I am not sure if I can do it. I’m insecure about something, and I lack confidence… so I get carried away by people who think clearly or have a loud voice… Like being deceived by a bad person, I think there is a not-so-good motive in my respect for my mother and Yuto-san that by following the words of someone I thought was absolute, I wouldn’t have to worry about this or that on my own.”
“That’s…”
We haven’t known each other for long, so I don’t know the whole of Honoka-chan’s personality.
But I think she might have some of those tendencies.
“If I don’t change, I might cause trouble for Yuto-san, my mother, and Serika-san again. No, before that, I realized that it’s rude to use the people I respect as a convenient refuge to escape from thinking for myself.”
“I think at your age, Honoka-chan, you can still be spoiled by adults.”
“But the situation my mother and I are in is not good. One day, it might become known that my mother is an elf and that I have her blood in my veins.”
“You’re right…”
This possibility cannot be denied.
Even if I tried to calm her down with my mouth, Honoka-chan would never be convinced.
“I am weak. It’s not just my ability. It’s my weakness of mind that makes me dependent on others.”
“And you try to fix that by practicing?”
“I don’t think it’s something that can be fixed easily. But there is a big difference between striving for it and not striving for it. But I hear that it is very hard training. To be honest, I’m scared…”
“Honoka-chan…”
“Well, just for now. Please let me be the me that loves you. Please let me cling to your kindness for a little while longer. Let me still dream, even if it’s a lie.”
Saying this, Honoka-chan looks up at me with wet eyes.
I can’t say “I’m sorry, I love Serika” after being told so much, can I?
“I understand. I won’t say anything. I’m rooting for you, Honoka-chan.”
“Thank you, Yuto-san.”
“But can I ask you something?”
“…Yes, what is it?”
“If it’s really difficult, you can escape. If it is impossible, you can rely on me and Haruka-san. I am sure that even Serika will help you.”
“Serika-san is a really strong and kind person. If I were Serika-san, I might not be able to help myself. I am really weak and ugly…”
“Even Serika has overcome a lot. She was not strong to begin with.”
“But I don’t want to lose to Serika-san. I’m jealous and frustrated… I think it is my weakness that I feel this way, even though you took care of me. I want to be strong, too. I don’t know if it’s competition or respect for Serika-san… I don’t know either.”
“Considering the situation Honoka-chan and Haruka-san are in, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being strong. But whether Honoka-chan is strong or weak, that alone won’t make me like or dislike you.”
“Please… don’t say things that will shake my resolve like that.”
“It’s one thing to say that going through something hard will make you stronger. When you break your mind or body, there are some things that can’t be healed easily. It doesn’t matter how strong you are. Honoka-chan is irreplaceable.”
“Yuto-san…”
“I am who I am, including my weaknesses. I am sure that accepting them will make you stronger as well. It took me so long to realize that.”
“I understand. I will keep your words in my heart.”
“Yes.”
“I have to go now. Once I start my training, I won’t be able to see people for a while. So, U-um… for the last time… can you give me a hug?”
“Eh?”
Honoka-chan jumped into my chest without hearing my answer.
The straw hat fell off and revealed her tied-up blonde hair.
I hugged Honoka-chan for a while and stroked her head.
“I’m sorry for asking you to do something so unreasonable. I’m going to leave now.”
“Take care. I hope your training goes well.”
“Yes, thank you, Yuto-san.”
I watched as Honoka-chan put her straw hat back on and walked to the back of the temple grounds.
Suddenly, a voice from behind her called out to me.
“…That girl grew up before I even knew it.”
“W-whoa!?”
When I turned around in surprise, Haruka-san was there, giggling.