Chapter 93: Chapter 93 The Tragic Tosca
Was the man in front of me crazy, or was I suffering from auditory hallucinations? What kind of nonsensical and illogical reason was this?
Yet, seeing that not a single person around me showed any signs of doubt, and even a few women clueless to the truth were smitten by Tosca’s pretentiousness, I could only silently lament that the customs and practices of the Otherworld were truly beyond the comprehension of us normal folks. To propose such an absurd duel so confidently—perhaps the onlookers simply didn’t care whether the duel had any meaning, who was right or wrong. All they wanted was excitement, and in this turbulent and chaotic age, there weren’t many normal and suitable forms of entertainment left.
Tosca was absolutely delighted inside, convinced that the country bumpkin before him wouldn’t dare accept his challenge. Then he could thoroughly humiliate him and, in this world that revered power above all, a coward could never earn anyone’s respect. His wife and fiancée would undoubtedly ditch this pitiful fellow and throw themselves into the arms of the more charming him. If, on the other hand, the other party foolishly accepted his challenge, all the better. Civilians couldn’t possibly possess systematic combat skills, while he was a High Order warrior who could indulge in trampling and shaming his opponent in a duel. By sparing the nearly dead loser at the last moment in a grand display of a master’s demeanor, these beautiful ladies would naturally recognize who was more dependable.
Of course, I couldn’t possibly comprehend the calculations based on the value system of the Otherworld that whirred in Tosca’s head, but having navigated through various novels, I had a pretty good guess about his overall intentions. Although I found it hard to agree, given the current state of the world, Tosca’s actions seemed somewhat justified.
Sadly, not only would Qianqian and her friends never develop the slightest fondness for Tosca over such trivial reasons, but I definitely wouldn’t be as easy to deal with as Tosca had anticipated.
I couldn’t help feeling irritated by Tosca’s arrogant demeanor, which stirred the thought of thoroughly messing with the guy.
I crisply accepted his challenge as if he’d suggested casually spending an afternoon at a bar instead of a life-threatening duel.
Tosca clearly hadn’t expected me to dare accept his challenge with such ease. He was stunned for only a moment before interpreting my reaction as pretending to be brave. He then flashed an easy smile, a hint of ruthlessness fleeting across his eyes, and magnanimously said, “Your bravery is commendable. Though I am a well-mannered Knight and you are nothing but a gambler who schemes against others, I am still willing to let you choose the time and place for the duel out of respect for your courage.”
Damn, this guy would be sweeping Oscars on Earth every year! His resounding words, his righteous expression—even I had to admit, he was overdoing it!
Unfortunately, having a knockoff swindler like Sicaro under my command, who always wears the face of an upright Knight, has led me to never judge by appearances. Tosca’s feigned facade of justice paled in comparison to Sicaro’s Knightly face—it was like comparing a minor monster to Ultraman…
“Let’s make it tomorrow evening,” I pondered in feigned contemplation, as if completely unaware of the dire consequences of the impending duel, “The place will be the small plain twenty miles outside the city.”
Tosca hesitated at my reply. He knew that the Xyrin Apostle and the Royal Knights were scheduled to have a strength exchange on the plains outside the city at noon tomorrow. But even with his status, it was hard to obtain more information—the visit of the Xyrin Apostle had been classified top secret, and even Tosca had “accidentally” heard of it from his father.
These were likely just some powerful Aliens. While it was puzzling why the Pope and the Emperor emphasized these heretics so much, it didn’t have much to do with him. Besides, the duel was set for the evening, not interfering with the noon event; hence, there was nothing to worry about.
Thinking so, Tosca didn’t pay much mind to the sudden appearance of the Xyrin Apostle, but the choice of the duel’s location, on the plains outside the city, inevitably made him associate it with those Aliens.
“Fine, the duel will happen on the plains outside the city tomorrow evening—I will be waiting for you there. I hope you won’t break the appointment.”
Tosca smiled genteelly, seemingly already envisioning the lovely ladies rushing into his arms as the victor.
“But,” I thought about it and decided to give him a chance to back out, “frankly speaking, I’m not particularly interested in duels, especially those that lack any reasonable cause or significance…”
“Are you scared?” Tosca’s lips curled into a scornful smile, as if he had expected me not to dare accept his challenge. As for some reason and significance of the duel, he had no concept of that. For a Noble to propose a duel in such a formal manner was considered an honor in itself, and only cowards came up with various excuses to question the sanctity of duels. “You can simply concede. I will grant you the most fair judgment—my dear ladies, I hope my actions don’t leave a bad impression on you. After all, as the city’s Guardian, I must do this.”
“You do as you please—as long as you can bear the consequences.”
Qianqian seemed indifferent as she spoke, but no one noticed that the wooden floor beneath her feet was rapidly rotting and then restoring itself.
“…” Her sister didn’t say a word, her gaze sizing up Tosca with ill intent, seemingly calculating which curse would cause him the most pain yet keep him alive until the duel.
“Although my brother is an idiot,” Lin Xue continued her subtle personal attacks, “taking you down will be a piece of cake.”
That damned girl! How long do you plan to keep this up?!
Finally, Sandora said from a position even higher than Tosca, “So now, you can vanish.”
“You guys…” Tosca was verbally choked by the four beauties, one after the other, but considering his image, he managed to suppress his rage and said stiffly, “Very well, then I look forward to seeing you tomorrow at the duel arena…”
“Chen Jun, that’s my name.” I replied with a harmless smile.
“Chen Jun, I’ll remember that name!”
After tossing that remark, Tosca shifted his greedy gaze to the girls.
Unfortunately for him, before he could further appreciate the delightful sight of the beautiful faces, something none would have suspected occurred.
Right before everyone’s eyes, Tosca’s clothes suddenly burst apart, turning into fluttering pieces of shredded fabric…
With my enhanced eyesight, which could double as a telescope, I clearly saw that the edges of the fabric had evident signs of corrosion and weathering.
“What a shameless creature,” Qianqian mocked without mercy, “to expose himself in public…”
Amidst a chorus of screams, Tosca, now only in his shorts (Qianqian is still a girl, so she’s a bit shy. If it were me, I wouldn’t have left him even that much), stood there with his embarrassingly pale ‘naked pig’ appearance, finally reacting with a cry of alarm. He frantically covered himself, and the guards by his side came to their senses, even though they didn’t understand what was happening. They quickly formed a human wall around their master to shield him, but the girls’ mischief was clearly not over yet. Seconds later, a foul stench wafted from the wall of guards, accompanied by Tosca’s loud, clear singing…
“Really, now…” my now sinister sister rubbed her forehead as if she were helpless, “was there any need to solve your urgent bathroom needs in such a shocking manner on the spot?”
After a queenly chuckle, Sandora also said sarcastically, “Even if it’s thrilling to do so, there’s certainly no need to burst into song, is there?”
…Someone once said: The most terrifying creature in the world isn’t Godzilla, but women, especially beautiful ones.
The ancient’s did not deceive me—the character of these three girls around me is already akin to that of a final boss. As for Lin Xue, who hadn’t made a move, meow, don’t think she’s got a good temperament, it’s only because she just happened not to have the right ability!
Wanting to avoid more unnecessary trouble, I left the scene with the girls amidst the chaos, only leaving behind the most tragic bit-part male in history to continue his shameful streak of running naked, having diarrhea, and singing at the top of his lungs, all under the public’s watchful eyes…