As she spoke, she almost couldn’t cry anymore, with the pain that had been building up in her heart bursting forth like a sudden, violent flood.
She was a flesh-and-blood human, not some paragon of strength. Behind her forced smiles, she was merely struggling to be strong.
Seeing her unable to speak through her tears, Li Yuan’s reproaches all dissipated.
"Qiangwei, nobody wants anything to happen to Sijue, including himself. It’s impossible to predict the future; it’s not like he wanted to give you a child and then vanish..."
"That’s why I can’t accept it. I need to find him, whether he’s alive or dead, I just want an answer!"
"But what if..." Li Yuan paused, his voice choking up, "I mean, if, if Sijue really is no longer with us, what do you plan to do?"
Meeting his dark eyes, Gu Qiangwei took a while before she resolutely spoke, "Then I’ll chase him down to the underworld to get an answer from him directly."
Looking at her resolute gaze, Li Yuan found himself at a loss for words.
It was a moment later before he spoke again, out of concern that if Sijue really was gone, she might entertain the thought of joining him with her child in a gentle whisper.
"Qiangwei, Sijue is an only child. Can’t you think about his parents who passed away early, and his grandparents?"
Gu Qiangwei looked up, her previously reined-in tears breaking free once again.
Nobody knew the heavy pain she was bearing in her heart.
"Li Yuan, you want me to consider his parents, but... who’s there to bear my pain? He left me all his pain and vanished. I just hate... I hate that he broke his promises, hate him for abandoning his wife and child, hate him for leaving everyone who cared about him... I just want to find him, even if he is dead, I need him to give me an answer himself!"
She just couldn’t accept it. He had promised her himself that he would take care of her for her whole life, to stay with her until they were ninety years old.
He broke his promise, and she hadn’t lived to be ninety years old. How could he die, how could he...
If he really was dead, she would hate him for eternity!
At that moment, Li Yuan’s voice was also choked with emotion.
He took a moment before he spoke again, "Qiangwei, I know you can’t accept that Sijue just left you, but for the sake of the child, and to wait for him to return safely to see you both unharmed, would it be okay for you to come back to Jingcheng with me? While you rest assuredly and nurture the baby, we can wait for news of him. If by that time... he really is dead, I won’t stop you."
She raised her eyes, tears blurring her vision, sniffled, and then lowered her gaze to her flat belly.
Her child, how could she not feel heartache?
Yet, she truly felt she had reached her limit and didn’t know what she would do with her life if the news awaiting her confirmed that he was truly dead.
But in the end, with tears still in her eyes, she nodded and agreed to return to Jingcheng.
Seeing her finally nod her head, Li Yuan breathed a huge sigh of relief.
He had been genuinely worried that if things continued this way, the child might not survive.
The following morning,
On the way back to Jingcheng, Gu Qiangwei also brought along Qin Si’s belongings and clothes.
In the dimly lit private room of a teahouse, a slender, lofty figure stood in front of the window. Soon, the door opened, and in stepped a tall, upright figure.
At the window, the woman did not turn around.
"We found it, but she’s on her way back to Jingcheng."
Hearing this, the woman’s brows knitted together.