Marvel: A Lazy-Ass Superman Chapter 291

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Nick Fury's original plan had been simple:

Let Barbara Morse get close to Henry Brown.

Lower his guard.

Feel out his intentions.

Then Fury himself would appear as the big boss and reel him in.

But Barbara's plans changed.

During their earlier trip, she had been genuinely charmed by Henry—

his attentiveness, his thoughtfulness,

and, most dangerously, his humor.

So this still-a-college-student girl began fantasizing about getting a boyfriend,

one who just happened to work in the same agency.

Who cared if S.H.I.E.L.D. technically discouraged office romance?

What neither she nor Fury expected was—

What if Henry didn't follow the script?

Only now did Barbara realize how obvious it had always been:

This man had heavy defenses.

Even sincerity might not move him—

let alone approaching with lies.

So she had asked Fury to let her handle Henry's recruitment.

Because when you like someone,

you want to bring them into your world,

into what you believe is a promising future.

Normally, that would be a welcome romantic trajectory.

But if the target sees through the lie from the start,

wouldn't the result be the same?

Barbara now held deep regret.

Her face scrunched with remorse, she said softly:

"If I said I truly did fall for you… would you believe it?"

"What do you like about me?" Henry asked.

"Your humor… and your knowledge…" she replied, voice trembling with guilt.

Henry chuckled.

**"Hahaha. Poppy, you're a good girl.

You can find someone far better than me—don't waste your eyes on someone like me.

"As for the organization behind you—

whoever they are—

there are plenty of heroes willing to save the world.

No one is irreplaceable.

Least of all me."**

"If everyone thought like that," Barbara blurted, suddenly emotional,

"and no one stepped forward because they believed someone else would…

then no one would step up in the end!

Is that right?"

Henry poked the fire with a stick.

**"Then you should go find those who want to step up and save the world—

not someone like me, who just wants to live a quiet life.

"If you like me, thank you—

but I still have to say it:

we're not suitable.

"And if the organization behind you wants me—

I'll say it plainly:

it's regrettable, but our philosophies don't align.

I can't be the kind of good person you want."**

He tossed the stick into the flames.

For the first time since this conversation began, Henry turned fully to face her.

**"But don't worry.

I may not be a good person—

but I'm nowhere near brave enough to be a villain. Too troublesome.

"Just tell your boss everything I said.

"And now—

go sleep in the tent.

I'll stay outside with Katie.

No one will hurt you.

"No tiger, no cat, no nothing.

And tomorrow, I'll take you back to the city.

"You go live your colorful, exciting life.

I'll stick to my plain and boring one."**

But Barbara still refused to give up.

She grabbed his arm, leaned in with teary eyes, and whispered:

"Even so…

can't we at least leave a memory behind?"

She closed her eyes.

Her soft, glossy lips lifted just enough to invite a kiss—

pure temptation.

Henry flicked her on the forehead.

Thwack!

He didn't use much force, but it still hurt.

Barbara clutched her forehead, glaring up at him with watery, betrayed fish-eyes.

"Be good. Go sleep.

Otherwise the one who goes feral tonight might not be me."

Not far away, Katie—bored of chewing her venison—

let out a perfectly timed roar.

Then licked blood from her face.

---

The next morning, all the way back to Los Angeles,

Barbara behaved like someone sulking on purpose.

She refused to speak a single word,

but she still ate, drank, nodded, and shook her head when needed.

Following the "human GPS" directions from the pouty girl,

Henry dropped her off at the civic center park downtown.

Earlier this year, Barbara had stayed at a nearby hotel—

but this time she apparently hadn't booked one.

Still, she refused to return to Gary's apartment building with Henry.

She got out.

Even with Katie chained up in the back seat,

a tiger in downtown L.A. was far too eye-catching.

The police had already approached him multiple times.

And this was with the windows closed.

If he'd rolled them down, half the pedestrians might've had heart attacks.

So once she stepped out, Henry drove away immediately.

---

Barbara entered the park,

found a long bench,

and sat down.

Wearing her dress again and her big sunhat low over her face,

she took out her mobile phone and dialed a number.

It rang three times—

and she hung up.

After a while, a Black man sat at the opposite end of the bench.

Nick Fury, sleeves rolled up, tie loosened,

bit into a hot dog as he muttered quietly:

"When did you get to Los Angeles?"

"Yesterday morning."

"Mm.

Report."

Barbara took a breath.

"Mission failure.

Recruitment of Henry Brown… failed."

Fury froze mid-chew.

"Explain."

"My cover was blown."

She relayed everything that had happened over the past two days—

all the details,

including her failed attempt at seduction.

In the end, she stared at her hands and whispered:

"I'm sorry.

I messed up.

I shouldn't have approached him on my own."

Fury finished his hot dog, dusted off his hands, and murmured:

**"Relax.

It's not as bad as you think.

"It's not the ideal outcome—

but the mission isn't a failure."**

Barbara peeked up from under her sunhat,

her expression showing complete confusion.

Fury explained:

**"This conclusion comes from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s psychological experts.

Henry Brown is extremely rational—

but not someone who rejects others blindly.

"He always chooses the option with the least trouble.

"In this case, refusing you reduces trouble for him.

Simple as that.

"But from his time working for Audrey Hepburn,

we know he understands the value of compromise—

when the offered return is acceptable to him.

"And when it matters, he doesn't back down easily.

"So as you've reported—

he might not be a patriot.

"But as long as he can be a useful tool,

the rest depends on how we choose to wield him.

"You understand?"**

Barbara stared, speechless.

Fury added:

**"Poppy, I think highly of you.

If you don't want to remain just an ordinary agent,

you need to learn these things.

"This was a good experience.

Reflect on it."**

What Fury didn't say was:

Henry Brown had recently acquired a new blonde around him.

And based on a certain man's intuition—

well…

He didn't even need that much intuition to know:

Mentioning this would make everything far, far messier.

Better not mention it at all.

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