Bei Sangyun caught her breath and decided to check the forum. The recent photo showed Fei Chuan leaving the cafeteria and being spotted at the locker area.
And then he disappeared from the stalking fans.
Bei Sangyun: "...."
Fei Chuan had become good at hiding.
Where else could he be?
Bei Sangyun suddenly thought of a place.
That place was old and locked up. It wasn’t used or visited by students except him and her. And ever since the homecoming dance ended, it had never been opened again.
Bei Sangyun ran to the old gym. She pushed the door open, but it was locked. Fortunately, she had the key with her.
She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. "Fei Chuan, are you in there?"
There was no response.
But Bei Sangyun had a feeling that he was inside.
"Are you upset?"
No reply.
Bei Sangyun stared at the door and continued, "I... I should probably leave you alone, but I think we need to talk." Bei Sangyun gripped the doorknob. "I said I won’t do anything you don’t like, but... let me just break that rule for today. Just for today."
With that, Bei Sangyun took out the keys and opened the lock. As soon as she opened the door, she saw the person she was looking for.
Fei Chuan was also staring back at her. His beautiful eyes were narrowed, clearly not finding her presence welcoming, or what she thought.
"... I’ll leave after our talk," Bei Sangyun promised.
Fei Chuan scoffed, "You don’t have to tell me that." He went to the bench and took a seat, and Bei Sangyun followed.
Silence passed, and neither of them spoke. The atmosphere was quite tense and stiff.
Fei Chuan’s frown deepened, "Didn’t you want to talk?"
"... I am just constructing my sentence," Bei Sangyun replied. She was always straightforward and direct. She didn’t sugarcoat her words and delivered them quite harshly. But right now, she couldn’t do that.
Bei Sangyun wondered how to word her thoughts without sounding too forceful.
"You’re constructing your sentence? Since when do you think about what you’re going to say? Just say it bluntly like you always do. Unless, you really don’t have anything to say to me and just came here because you suddenly got curious."
Fei Chuan could guess a few things about what she might be curious about. But this was Bei Sangyun; she must have some unexpected thoughts.
Bei Sangyun tapped the bench a few times before finally speaking, "I... I was wondering if I did something to make you mad?"
Fei Chuan was surprised by her question and couldn’t answer for a while.
Bei Sangyun didn’t force him to answer quickly and patiently waited.
Fei Chuan studied her expression. Seeing that she was genuinely serious about this question, Fei Chuan’s heart, which had been feeling sad and bitter these past few days, suddenly jolted awake.
"... What makes you ask that?" Fei Chuan asked, with a bit of expectation. He wasn’t sure what he was hoping for.
"I actually wanted to ask you this question three days ago, but I got distracted. And in these past few days, we barely talk and spend time together."
There was no more practice after class, and the deals they made for the homecoming dance had been called off. There was no point in spending time together and getting used to each other’s touch.
They had no deep relationship aside from Bei Sangyun protecting him from the bullies. But even that had been resolved.
Nothing was linking them now except for being seatmates.
"How can we have time to spend? You always seem busy with the others," Fei Chuan replied, sounding a bit bitter.
"I’m not busy. You’re the one who’s busy with confessions every day."
"I was ignoring them, and it was fine at first because you were there. But you suddenly distanced yourself. Since I’m always alone, those people took the chance and confessed to me."
"I’m not distancing myself from you. I’m just..." --restraining myself. Bei Sangyun couldn’t say those words out loud. She would sound a bit obsessive and ’forceful’, right?
"Just what? Since you kissed me, you’re now satisfied and don’t have any intention to take responsibility? Are you a player?" Fei Chuan asked menacingly, his grievance resurfacing.
Was his heart played by her?
"What? Hold on," Bei Sangyun held out her hand, "Let me get things straight. First, that kiss didn’t satisfy me. Who would be satisfied with a single peck that didn’t even last for a second?"
Fei Chuan was speechless. His face turned red in both anger and embarrassment. "So you aren’t even satisfied?! Then what? You find that you don’t like it so you distanced yourself from me?"
"Don’t jump to conclusions quickly. I wasn’t satisfied because it was too short. If we kissed a bit longer with our tongues intertwined, then I might have an idea."
"T-tongue..."
"Secondly, even though that kiss was too short to be called a kiss, I will take responsibility for it. If you want me to marry you today, I will. We can go to the bureau right away."
Fei Chuan: "...."
"And third, that’s not the reason I’m distancing myself from you." Bei Sangyun struggled to say the next words. "...To be honest, I’m just restraining myself from attacking you, okay?"
Fei Chuan: "..."
A thin needle poked the balloon that was restraining Bei Sangyun’s feelings, and the restraint disappeared in a flash, her feelings exploding and scattering everywhere.
"I didn’t see you for the whole week, that’s why I called you. Our talk that night made me realize that I had been confusing you. I’ve always been direct, and if there’s something I want, I will pursue it with my best effort. It’s the same with you. I expressed my feelings without restraint because I wanted you to hurry up and accept my proposal.
"But you clearly took it the wrong way. You thought it was all just a game on my part. You were burdened with my confession, and you can’t think clearly with me around. It made me sad that I have to distance myself from you, but I have to do it so I can give you peace of mind.
"Do you know how hard it is to sit next to you and stop myself from doing anything?" Bei Sangyun expressed her frustration.