The question came out so suddenly that Neriah was utterly confused as to where the question was coming from and why?
"A_Avelah?"
"Aye my dear. I believe if you are with your own people, with a place and things you like, you can get your—"
"But you are my people." She suddenly said. She was really confused as to why they would want to send her away from the only place that had memories of her husband to a place that had nothing! "This is the place I like and this room is filled with the things I cherish too. This is where I want to be."
"Neriah, listen to me. Being in this room—" the man looked around him, his gaze lingered on the huge portrait of Barak that sat before them. "this room is bad for you." He finally looked at her again.
"No," she viciously snatched her hand from his own as she rose to her feet and walked toward Barak’s portrait, resting her back on it. "And besides, was the plan not to make it seem as though I am being punished by you? If I am sent to Avelah, everyone will know that I am perfectly safe and fine and—"
"We will send you discreetly. No one will know you are no longer in Trago." He said as she rose to his feet. He took no steps closer to her. He remained in his position.
Neriah refused to listen to anything he had to say. As long as he was going to talk about sending her away from this room, she was not going to listen, but then it suddenly dawned on her. This was the chance she needed! This was perfect!
Pretending to return to Avelah, she could sneak away from the men that would be appointed to guard her and then make her way to finding Lyle. Indeed! This was the perfect opportunity.
"Neriah you—"
"I do not wish to leave here." She said. "But if you think that is what is right, then I will go."
"What?" Bashan said with wide eyes.
"I will go to Avelah, but I will only stay there for a while. I refuse to be away from here for too long." Neriah hoped he was buying her lies.
While Bashan could only wonder and at the same time thank the gods for her sudden change of heart.
"Are you really going to do as I have asked?" He asked again and she nodded. He moved closer to her and took her hands in his own hand with a smile on his face. "Good decision my dear. Very good. Barak was right, you are a strong woman."
At those words, Neriah’s eyes glittered with shock as she lifted her head and stared at the man before her, "H_he talked to you about me? And he said that? That I am strong?" She asked and the smile on the man’s face was genuine like a father staring at his daughter.
"Indeed. So shed no tears and think not of doing any harm to yourself, for he will not approve of it. He knows you are a strong woman so he will be angry if he sees you crying or thinking of hurting yourself." Out of everything the man has being saying since he walked into her room, those were the words that caused tears to flow down her cheek.
"W_what more can I do?" She suddenly said, "It is all my fault. It is all me! Why do you treat me this way? I should be hanged but instead you wipe my tears. A tomb was constructed and a burial was held without a body and it is all my fault! I should be sent to the depths of hell for this, but I am still living while he_ he_ he is gone and yet you still worry for me. Why? Why?!" She cried.
To think he had told his father something good about her after all the bad things she had done. How could he compliment her? She was not strong! Far from it. She was foolish and immature and that was why he was no longer with them.
"When my son first told me about you, I remember he had no idea you were a princess. He thought you were a mere maid."
"I am sorry. I am so sorry for lying. I am so sorry for—"
"No, I am not saying this to get your apology my dear, so just listen." He wiped her tears with his thumb then gently pulled her away from the portrait, making her sit down once again before he sat down.
"That night I had asked him if he would choose a maid over a princess and he responded with no hesitation. He was certain of what he wanted. So I asked him another question..."
...
(Refer back to Chapter 33)
"Bar,"
"Yes, father?"
"You know the Trago Kingdom will rest on your shoulders someday... Your new princess, can she bear the weight with you? Will she be a strength or your weakness?"
At that moment, Barak smiled and said to his father, "She might be my downfall, my doom, and my destruction... But in no way is she my weakness, father. That little witch might be stronger than me in many ways... If she can’t bear the weight with me, father I assure you instead of leaving, she would push it off my shoulders."
...
"Those were the words of your husband." Bashan said and Neriah’s tears only intensified. Because indeed, she had been his downfall and his doom. "I do not know if he ever told you this but that young man fell in love with you on the very first night he saw you." Neriah could not hold back the sobs as the man spoke those words.
The more he spoke about Barak the more she realized what it was she had lost.
"I_ I_ I—" She choked between sobs as she tried to speak.
"He would not want to see you suffer like this."
"I love him. I love him so much and I never told him. I never told him how much I love him. Now he will never know. He will_ he will never know I love him—"
"I am sure he knows that more than anyone." Bashan says as he wipes her tears again. "Oh dear, come here." He said with open arms then he added, "Or do you still need time to learn the art of hugging a father-in-law?" He jested and remeeing when she had said those words, her husband had been alive and well, Neriah wept bitterly as she fell into the embrace of the man.
For the first time since her marriage, she held her husband’s father and wept in his arms until she could weep no more.