Granny Song had been commanding those two little brats all night without sleeping. She had just taken a hot bath and was about to get some shut-eye when she heard the courtyard gate being pounded loudly.
Granny Song thought Song Fang and her daughter had returned, so she took a few steps to open the gate, but then Mrs. Wu’s voice came through the crack in the door.
"Li Guilan, if you’ve got the guts, open up! You treated my son like a grandson to order around all night and now you want to kick him out of the village? What are you hiding in there for, pretending to be some ancient turtle?"
Granny Song paused her hand on the latch, "What mad dog wasn’t tied up properly at daybreak, running here to bite whoever? Ate too much crap, have you?"
She already recognized Mrs. Wu’s voice. She didn’t have to think to know why this old hag had come around.
Over in the west room, Wen Wan heard the commotion and wanted to go out and see, but Song Wei stopped her, "It must be someone from the Zhou family. Going out won’t do any good. In this stretch of villages, only our mom can handle her."
Wen Wan still wanted to go out. Her mother-in-law was being cursed outside, and if she as a daughter-in-law just hid indoors, wouldn’t her mother-in-law mind?
Even just as a gesture, she had to step outside once.
Thinking this way, Wen Wan ignored Song Wei’s advice and pushed open the door.
Granny Song heard the sound and turned to look at her, "Third Lang’s wife, go back inside. It’s got nothing to do with you this early. Wait until things quiet down before coming out. — What are you standing there for? Go back inside, haven’t you heard the mad dog barking outside? What if it bites you?"
Wen Wan awkwardly tugged at the corner of her mouth, turned around, and went back inside.
Mrs. Wu, hands on her hips, shouted through the courtyard gate, "Is this how you treat in-laws? What did my son do to your family for you to do such an inhumane thing and chase him out of the village?"
Granny Song laughed out of anger, "Oh dear, who says we’re in-laws? The crow wants to marry the phoenix, do you look at yourself with all those black feathers and think you’re worthy?"
Mrs. Wu’s nostrils flared with anger, she kept slamming the gate, "If you’re not a coward, open up! If you’ve got guts, let’s fight! My son is a little bird, can’t fight you sneaky old fox, but today I’m here to take you on!"
Granny Song dragged a chair to sit behind the gate, "Your two sons just cleaned my floor. Why should I open up to let you, a muddy sow, mess it up? If you’ve got the guts, climb over like your son did and jump into the manure pit. I’ll respect you as a real man and fight you!"
"Jump, I’ll jump! You wait there for me!"
Mrs. Wu went to the courtyard wall, placed two big stones underfoot, and with much effort climbed to the top. From there, she saw Granny Song had spread a floorful of soybeans below, holding a winnow as she looked at her hands on her hips, "Jump now! Why aren’t you jumping? Weren’t you boasting just now?"
Mrs. Wu gritted her teeth in frustration, "You... you sweep those soybeans away!"
"I just won’t sweep them. If you’re not a coward, jump down here and fight me."
Looking nervously at the soybeans on the ground, Mrs. Wu felt her old waist, her teeth chattering a bit.
"Not full enough to come down, is it?" Granny Song casually picked up a bamboo pole leaning against the wall and generously handed it over, with a big black-red caterpillar hanging from one end, "Here, here’s a pole, climb down."
Mrs. Wu’s hair stood on end from fright at the large caterpillar, "You you you...take it away!"
Instead of taking it away, Granny Song pushed it further closer.
Seeing the caterpillar about to crawl onto her, Mrs. Wu’s old back gave way, letting out a scream like a slaughtered pig, and she fell off the wall.
Granny Song tossed aside the bamboo pole, dusted her hands, "Well, it’s finally quiet now."