Chapter 815: Eat more than two slaps
She was furious, “You just open your mouth when I tell you to? Get lost!”
He squinted at her flirtatiously, “Wife, if I don’t open my mouth, should I spread my legs instead? I’ve been wanting to do that with you for…”
Smack! She threw a slap at him.
The loud slap made stars appear before his eyes, but he didn’t get angry at all. Instead, he wore an indifferent expression and grumbled, “Wife, you hit me again!”
He caught her hand and blew on it, “Wife, your husband has thick skin. Does it hurt your hand when you hit me?”
She looked at him wordlessly for a second, “Have you been hit dumb?”
“Anyway, for your sake, whether I slap myself or you slap me, I’ve eaten quite a few slaps. It doesn’t make much difference to eat a couple more,” he said with a grin, showing off bright white teeth, “As long as you’re happy, it’s all good.”
“You really are asking for a beating!”
“You’re just realizing that now?”
Watching his cheery demeanor, a warm current passed through her heart. Suddenly, she felt that his always irritating her to the point of smoke billowing from seven orifices was actually one of his virtues.
“Wife, what are you looking at?” He waved a hand in front of her eyes.
She looked at his handsome features and somehow started to think he had his good points, which made her suddenly like him a bit.
Feeling uncomfortable, she averted her gaze and looked up at the sky, “I see a crow flying over.”
He followed her gaze, “Wife, where is it?”
Her gaze fixed firmly on him, “Isn’t the crow right in front of me?”
“In front of me, where?” He looked around and then realized, responding with a mournful tone, “Wife, are you saying I have a crow’s mouth…”
She patted his shoulder, “You’ve got potential, kid.”
Having said that, she walked off with her hands behind her back like an old scholar, heading towards… the thatched house.
He followed her, “Wife, I can read now. When you say ‘kid’, it means ‘son’. I’m your husband, you can’t misuse idioms.”
“Since when do idioms have five words?” she countered. Why does that sound so familiar?
Recalling the past, she had once told the third brother he was ‘looking down on people like a snobbish dog,’ and the third brother had also accused her of misusing idioms.
He paused too, as if he remembered the past, and laughed happily, “If the wife thinks an idiom has five words, then it must be an idiom.”
She gave him a roll of the eyes, “Smooth talker.”
He stuck out his tongue from his mouth and said indistinctly, “Have you licked it? How would you know if my tongue is smooth? Actually, it’s quite rough. Do you want to give it a try?”
“Go away, go away, go away!” She walked faster in irritation, heading towards a ‘small short house’ in the backyard and stopped, glaring at him, “Why are you following me?”
He chuckled, “I just like following you.”
She pointed to the ‘small short house’, “I’m going to use the squat pit.”
He blinked, “I know.”
“If you know, then why aren’t you going away?” she asked suspiciously, “You don’t understand what using the squat pit means, do you?”
“The wife wants to poop.”
Three black lines immediately surfaced on her forehead, “I need to pee!”
“Oh,” he nodded and even opened the door to the thatched house for her, a stench wafting out, “Please go in, wife. Would you like me to accompany you?”
She walked in gracefully, turned, and saw him follow, “What are you doing in here!”
“You didn’t say you didn’t want me to accompany you. I thought you were afraid of the stink and wanted me to come with you…”
“I appreciate the thought, third brother, please step out first.”
He said shamelessly, “I feel like peeing too. There’s a pit and a bucket here; we could do it side by side, you use the pit and I’ll use the bucket. Why not do it together?”