"If you were to say that I shouldn't have been there at that time, that I shouldn't have been a burden dragging you down, I admit it, I even hate myself."
"So, this time, I really tried to work hard."
"I awakened my Magic Armor."
"I also... although not alone, eventually defeated that enemy."
"You can say I'm boasting if you like, but this time, the battle, it should have... made a difference, right?"
She slowly looked up, gazing at Emerald Sparrow with uncertainty, "This me, this time, I shouldn't be a burden, right?"
Emerald Sparrow locked eyes with her for a long while, slowly nodded, "You are not a burden. You don't need to ask about that, everything you did tonight in defeating the enemy was very important."
"Because I am really worried about your safety, especially yours, Bai Mei."
Emerald Sparrow took a deep breath, "You should know, your mother, Ying, died while on a Magical Girl mission, and she was very strong, stronger than me at that time. Even a Magical Girl as powerful as her met with an accident during a mission, which caused panic among nearly half of the Magical Girl squads in the Material Realm."
"And I, as her... teammate, I am definitely one of those who cannot accept this happening the most. I really regret that I wasn't there beside her then. That's why now, I really can't bear to let you undertake such dangerous missions, if something were to happen to you also, I really..."
At this point, she paused, then closed her eyes tightly and shook her head, as if to drive out a certain thought from her mind, "I can't accept that happening."
"What about me?" Lin Xiaolu asked.
"What about my feelings?"
Lin Xiaolu widened her eyes, her voice rising slightly, "Have you ever considered that I feel the same way? I'm also very worried about you! You lost a teammate, I lost my mother! My mother died while on a mission! How could I possibly want to experience that pain, that despair again!"
"Am I not sad? Am I not scared? Exactly because I'm also worried about such things, I also think, 'if I'm not there and something happens to Emerald Sparrow,' I really don't even want to think about such things!"
"You always say you're worried about me, not wanting anything to happen to me, but have you ever considered that I feel the same, I'm worried about you so much I can't sit still. You make me stay back at the base, then every second I'm thinking if something might go wrong, how could I possibly bear it!"
"Last Full Moon Festival you were severely injured by that woman, and for some reason, you even destroyed your own Magic Armor; in this battle, you were still injured by the Clawmarks people, and it almost reached your core! Do you know how I felt standing by? I was really worried you were going to die! I couldn't even speak!"
"Do you think I'm very afraid of death? Yes, I am, I fear death, I fear pain, I even fear thunderstorms, there are too many things I'm afraid of, I'm just a coward. But what I fear the most has never been these, what I fear the most is losing the people I care about, the ones I love, from my life!"
"My mother is already dead and will never come back, it took me two years, and to this day I'm still having a hard time accepting it. If you were to die, how many more years would you want me to take to accept it?"
"If that really happened, it would be better to let me die instead, since you saved my life anyways, facing any real deadly danger, if my life could be exchanged for yours—"
Lin Xiaolu stopped speaking.
At her most emotionally charged moment, Emerald Sparrow raised her hand, clasping her shoulders tightly and fiercely, her piercing blue eyes intensifying each word she uttered:
"Absolutely, not, allowed."
Lin Xiaolu had never seen Emerald Sparrow before.
Although her face bore no exaggerated expression, her widened eyes seemed to brew some chaotic, heavy emotions, even giving a slight oppressive feeling, overwhelming her breath.
It was like some kind of stress response, when she mentioned "dying for Emerald Sparrow," it seemed to awaken a slumbering beast, shifting Emerald Sparrow from her usual calm contemplation directly into this state.
"...I absolutely won't accept this, you should think carefully, your friends, your father, and I, how would we feel?"
After a while, Emerald Sparrow recovered from that state and released her grip on Lin Xiaolu's shoulders, "Sorry, I hurt you, but you need to be clear that many people would grieve for you, feel it's not worth it, believe me, nobody wants to see that happen."
"But if it could save you, I would be willing to do it."
But Lin Xiaolu didn't back down, "Perhaps I would feel sorry for my dad, but that's the only thing that would make me feel guilty."
Emerald Sparrow stared at her for a long while.
Soon, as if she was meeting Lin Xiaolu for the first time, she nodded expressionlessly, "Okay, I understand."
She stepped back two steps, leaning against the wall, arms crossed:
"But since you really bear such determination, I'll also tell you my true thoughts, if you really risk your life for such a thing, I would kill the person who killed you and then kill myself."