Now, it was Lin Xiaolu's turn to fall into a stupor.
"Why?" It took her a while to sift through Emerald Sparrow's words for information, and she asked somewhat dazedly.
"...There's no why," Emerald Sparrow turned her head aside.
Her daughter's words had struck a raw nerve, and she couldn't help but impulsively speak her truth: she had already lost her wife and if she were to lose her child one day, then she would truly have no remaining reason to live in this world. By then, she might as well commit suicide for some peace.
Although somewhat extreme, this logic might be somewhat excusable for Lin Yun, but coming from Emerald Sparrow, it seemed much more incongruent.
After all, from an outsider's perspective, the relationship between Emerald Sparrow and Bai Mei was just that of magic girl seniors and juniors who happened to meet in a city, far from being a matter of life or death .
Emerald Sparrow knew this, but she was helpless, and in this instant, she also realized that the identities of "Emerald Sparrow" and "Lin Yun" were indeed different.
Lin Yun was Lin Xiaolu's father and just an "ordinary person with some knowledge of magic techniques." Speaking to his daughter from this persona, he could freely express his concerns about her going into battle and use various means to dissuade her. Because to his daughter, he was a father, a "non-combatant," who had the right to offer such advice.
But Emerald Sparrow was a magical girl, and more so, the captain of the Fangting City magical girl squad, who always led the charge in battle. Such an identity should not hinder her team members from entering the battlefield.
The reason was the same as the one Lin Xiaolu gave: if it was just to "protect a teammate," then everyone would have similar thoughts, and no one could guarantee that carrying out a mission was without risk to their life.
Moreover, as Emerald Sparrow, she had promised Lin Xiaolu to help her become a "magical girl who could stand on her own." From that stance, she should be encouraging Lin Xiaolu to fight and grow.
It was precisely because she couldn't separate the roles of "father" and "senior" that Emerald Sparrow's words had elicited such a strong reaction from Lin Xiaolu.
Yes, she was wrong. On this night, just after a great battle had ended, as a senior magical girl, she should have praised Lin Xiaolu's achievements, lauded her awakening magic armor, and encouraged her progress. This is what a senior magical girl should do.
Saying something like "worrying about safety" was not something a senior should say, or at least, not at such a time. Because that would have neglected the other person's readiness to go into battle, a kind of disregard for another.
But now it was too late to realize all this; the emotions that should have erupted had already erupted, the impulsive words had already been spoken, and now she had no way to explain.
So, she could see the expressions on Lin Xiaolu's face changing, from confusion to acceptance to determination.
She began to speak, "I've always had this uneasy feeling, always felt that you were too good to me, and I didn't know what made me worthy of your favor or if I could live up to your investment, so I felt very insecure."
"I'm afraid that if I expect too much without warrant, or assume I am something special, the disappointment when the illusion shatters would be too hard to bear."
"And now, I think, I can probably be certain about why you're doing all this."
"You, you're still trying ... to see mom's reflection in me, aren't you?"
She lowered her eyes slightly, "I tried thinking from your perspective for a moment, if in the future, I had a close teammate who died, and her child became a magical girl, perhaps I wouldn't be able to help myself from looking for something familiar in her."
What strange thoughts was this girl entertaining now?
Emerald Sparrow couldn't help but sigh, instinctively wanting to deny it, but before she could speak, Lin Xiaolu shook her head at her.
"I, might still care a little, but after thinking it over, I feel I really don't have to care that much."
She took a couple of steps forward, approached Emerald Sparrow, bowed her head slightly, and looked deeply into those clear eyes:
——"So, if that's the case, can I, too, regard you as my mother?"