As Sen left his office and the building that contained it behind, he was shocked by how utterly tired he felt. It wasn’t physical fatigue. He was pretty sure he hadn’t felt that in any meaningful measure since the last time he almost died. That thought brought him up short. He couldn’t help but wonder when he’d become the sort of person who almost died often enough that it just became a handy reference point instead of a life-altering event. It didn’t seem like something that should be treated so casually, but he was still doing it. He rolled that revelation around in his head for about ten seconds before he shrugged it off.
Of his rather extravagant collection of huge and immediate worries, that one wasn’t even alarming enough to make the bottom of the list. It was, maybe, on another list of things to consider someday in the distant future when the world wasn’t trying so very damned hard to rip itself apart. He’d had a long, blunt, and mostly one-sided conversation with Sua Xing Xing. It had covered a lot of ground about his explicit and implicit expectations for her, the sect, and the town. That mostly boiled down to his fervent desire that it should remain a place of safety for his daughter to live while the madness of war played out elsewhere for as long as possible.
He’d also divulged some information about his past and his relationships with Feng Ming, Kho Jaw-Long, Ma Caihong, and Fu Ruolan. He hadn’t offered anything that was indiscreet or couldn’t be discerned with some careful thought and guesswork. It was, however, enough for her to understand just how tenuous the link was between the sect and those nascent soul cultivators. They cared about what happened to Sen and Ai. Beyond that, anything they did to help would happen only as a whim. He did neglect to mention that, should they be present, both Master Feng and Uncle Kho would probably annihilate anyone who disturbed the peace of this place.
He left that part out because they wouldn’t do it to protect the town or sect. They’d do it because whoever showed up and caused trouble had annoyed them. Declining to share that information would also prevent Sua Xing Xing from looking for help in that direction. Better by far that she planned for and relied only on the strength available in the sect and town. That would make any help that might come from on high a welcome surprise, but its absence would only be expected. He also hoped that it would encourage her and everyone else to try to get inventive. It was experiments that had ultimately led Sen to his most powerful techniques and discoveries. It stood to reason that at least a few others might enjoy similar results if they applied themselves.
He’d even given her a vague overview of what he had had planned for the war, as well as what he expected to happen. All of the specifics were held back, not that there were that many specifics to offer. There was too much he didn’t know about the situation in any given location other than the kingdom he stood in. A part of him had hoped that at least a few of the southern kingdoms would have sent messengers or reached out in some other way. Any news would have made it so much easier to formulate a strategy. As things stood, the plan was to push south and kill anything that looked like opposition until he controlled everything this side of the Mountains of Sorrow. It wasn’t elegant, even by Sen’s forgiving standards, but neither was the enemy.
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He hadn’t bothered pursuing the question of her decisions beyond getting an overview. It was about what he’d expected. She’d been held back by a combination of fear, conflicting advice, and that personal dislike of open conflict that Auntie Caihong had mentioned. He couldn’t overlook that, without her fear of what he might do, she probably could have overcome the other two factors. With that in mind, he’d elected not to punish her, although she probably hadn’t seen it that way when he told her his decision.
“You will retain your position as the leader of the sect in my absence,” he said, and then ignored he way she sagged in relief. “However, it does come with a new requirement.”
She eyed him warily when she asked, “Which is?”
“If you find yourself in the position of needing to defend the sect or town again, you will confer with Long Jia Wei.”
He could see on her face that she wanted to take the question back as soon as it was in the air. It was a valid question, though. It was also a question he thought was important to answer.
“You weren’t ruthless enough in your defense of the town. Honestly, I don’t normally consider being less ruthless a bad thing, but it hindered you here. Long Jia Wei is, well, he’s nothing but ruthlessness. I will leave the final decisions in your hands. I do expect you to listen to him and give his advice genuine consideration. Between the two of you, I expect you’ll land on about the right balance.”
Sua Xing Xing did an adequate job of masking her displeasure with that announcement. Before his time in the capital, he might have even missed it. Sen had gotten a lot of practice at reading people’s faces in recent months, however, so he caught it. It even made him feel like he’d made the right choice. He knew that the pair were not especially fond of each other, even if it was for very different reasons. Long Jia Wei didn’t particularly care for her because he saw her less as a cultivator and more as a sect politician. The kind who isn’t much use in a fight. For someone like the former and possibly current sect assassin, that made her all but useless. Sen knew better. Someone had to mind the paperwork, and it wasn’t like he or Long Jia Wei was doing it.
Sua Xing Xing’s problem with Long Jia Wei was much simpler. The man scared her. Sen considered that a rational fear and, in terms of this decision, a useful one. She’d listen to what he had to say because she wouldn’t dare to ignore him entirely. Sen reminded himself to talk to Long Jia Wei about not pushing his position too hard. He wanted them to come to balanced decisions, not for the man to frighten Sua Xing Xing into agreeing with him. It probably wouldn’t be a problem. Long Jia Wei had proven himself reliable since Sen spared his life. The pairing felt a little manipulative, but Sen had to make do with available solutions, and they were adults. It wasn’t his responsibility to make them feel good about everything. He needed people to make good choices when he couldn’t be there to direct the sect’s activity. If that meant making two people uncomfortable, so be it.
By the time he tracked down Long Jia Wei to have a short discussion that was met with underwhelming enthusiasm and another longer talk with Auntie Caihong, it was deep into the afternoon. There were other things he could be doing and probably should be doing, and he made the conscious decision to ignore exactly all of that. He was going to go flying with his little girl.