115 Fumin’s soliloquy (1)
She was Fu Xun.
It was funny to say that she had only treated that world as a mission.
When she was Chu yanhuan, she met Shen Qingyu.
..
His snow-white clothes were like a painting, and his young master was unparalleled.
That was her first impression of Chen Qingyu.
After getting close to him, he realized that he was a very simple and easy to flirt with.
She blushed, was gentle, and had a good temper.
However, because of a bug created by that stupid system, she had become a child.
This made her very unhappy, so she used a lightning bolt to burn the furball.
After the system bug was fixed, she didn’t even have time to say goodbye to Shen Qingyu.
In the blink of an eye, ten years had passed.
To her, it was just the blink of an eye, so fast that it was negligible.
..
The sun had set, but the sky was still orange-red.
No one knew when the pairs of people holding hands had disappeared from the path. The Maple trees remained, but the old couple sitting under the tree all day long was gone.
The pool was still shimmering with light, but the smile of the young man by the pool was missing.
Meeting the little brother from her memory again, she was a little resistant.
This was because the Prime Minister of great Chu, Xue Yi, was very different from the young man in her memory.
Shen Qingyu had a deep mind and was so intelligent that he was almost demonic.
On the other hand, her little brother was indifferent but gentle, delicate and thin. He was the kind of noble young master pampered by a famous family, so pure that he was almost naked.
As such, she did not like this Prime Minister Xue Yi.
She was willing to get close to him for the mission, but she didn’t want to be with him.
..
However, she had forgotten why Chen Qingyu had become like this.
He had been waiting for her for ten years.
That youth had always known that his waiting would be in vain, but he still waited without hesitation.
She realized it too late.
She had thought that she had a lifetime to make up for it, but the plague had forced her to give up on her lover once again.
..
What did it feel like to see your lover die in your arms?
In fact, she didn’t know if she really loved Chen Qingyu. Maybe she did.
But … Love?
She was not sure.
The moment she saw him die, her heart was at a loss. She felt that everything was empty, and she didn’t know what to do.
She didn’t seem to be very sad.
However, an endless sense of loss overwhelmed her, as if she was at a loss.
She suddenly remembered that she could find his reincarnation. That seemed to be a good idea.
However, she was wrong.
She had used all her divine power, but she could not find a single trace of him in the three thousand worlds.
At that moment, he really broke down.
She thought that she still had a chance to make up for it, but in the end, it was all for nothing.
..
Later on, the heavenly Dao descended upon the small world.
For the first time, she bent down and begged him to help her.
But it was still useless.
Endless dizziness struck him, and the world in front of him began to distort.
She still remembered the time when she was still a little girl.
The young man in snow clothes was half-kneeling in front of her, holding a clean handkerchief in his hand and gently wiping her face.
His fingertips were wiped by the corner of his white clothes.
It was a little itchy.
..
What a sorry figure, as a fallen God.
Yet, he ended up in this state.
She had never experienced emotions and desires before. Even if she was in Jiang Ruan’s world, that was when she had lost her memories.
Later on, when she used her divine power in the small world, she was rejected by the laws. Her body was damaged, and her consciousness gradually fell into darkness.
The most regretful thing in the world was …
I only realized that I really love you when I lost you …