Princedom Intelligence Archive
Filed By: Inquisitor-Marshal Veyran Haroun
Classification: Failed Covert Operation Report
Reference Title:“The Night of a Thousand Wretches”
For three years, the Directorate of Covert Affairs poured resources into the silent elimination of the Legion’s 14th Squadron. Our infiltrator was embedded into their logistics structure under an airtight identity cover. Supply chains were rewritten, manifests forged, and entire shipments rerouted to ensure no suspicion fell upon the target.
Tens of thousands of credits were funneled into the operation. It was intended to be our masterpiece: a single poisoned meal that would wipe out a full operational squadron without firing a shot.
At the hour of execution, everything collapsed.
Before the poisoned rations could be consumed, Legionnaire Kett, assigned cook duty, unknowingly destroyed three years of work in a single act of culinary malpractice. His attempt at stew preparation produced what reports describe as “an industrial-grade emetic.”
Within minutes of eating, the entire squadron erupted into mass vomiting. Helmets, tables, walls, and floors were coated. Legionnaires staggered, collapsed, and retched in unison. One reportedly shouted, “Cover me, I’ve got range!” before vomiting over two comrades and a weapons rack.
Stolen story; please report.
Believing this display to be the effect of his poison, our operative revealed himself and began to boast of his triumph. He detailed his methods, gloated about the Directorate’s brilliance, and declared the Legion finished. His speech ended when two still-vomiting soldiers collapsed onto him, pinning him to the ground. Another Legionnaire vomited directly into his open mouth. He surrendered instantly.
Three years of planning, thousands of credits, and a flawless infiltration ended in seconds, defeated by one incompetent cook and a sea of bile.
Legion Losses: None. Tʜe source of this ᴄontent ɪs novèlfire.net
Princedom Losses: One infiltrator captured alive, full operation exposed, three years of preparation wasted.
Cultural Losses: Directorate of Covert Affairs informally nicknamed “the Vomit Bureau.”
Despite our efforts to contain the humiliation, leaked holo-footage spread across the Princedoms. Branded as “The Night of a Thousand Wretches, ” it became the best-selling underground holo in Princedom history.
Viewings are hosted in taverns, barracks, and private halls. Soldiers have turned it into a drinking game. Parody holos flood the markets, and the infiltrator’s smug reveal followed by his disgrace has been immortalized as a comedy archetype.
What was meant to be an elegant covert assassination is now remembered as the greatest farce ever produced.
Operation Dagger Meal will not appear in official histories.
But the Night of a Thousand Wretches has already outlived it, and likely always will.