Two days later…
Kasenhis's funeral was held as scheduled near Hagrid's hut.
Every student and teacher from Hogwarts was present, along with delegations from the other two schools.
Meanwhile, inside the coffin, Kasenhis was struggling to endure the suffocating feeling of being sealed in. In the end, he had Cedric secretly use an Extension Charm to forcefully expand the space inside into a three-room-and-one-hall setup.
The funeral itself wasn't particularly special. If anything could be called special, it was only that there were a lot of people. Other than that, it was just like every other funeral Kasenhis had attended as a child.
The only real difference was that the priest had been replaced by a wizard—and that wizard happened to be the Headmaster, Dumble-fucking-dore.
"Thus, Professor Kasenhis has left us forever…"
"His contributions to the field of alchemy are unmatched by any…"
"As a member of the European Alchemy Association… I feel deep regret…"
"I can't imagine… what our alchemical world will become… without Professor Kasenhis…"
Dumbledore was really getting into it now.
Moved by his own words, he even dabbed at the corners of his eyes and managed to squeeze out a tear or two.
Up in the tower, Snape decided the time had come. Casually pulling out a vial of restorative potion from his pocket, he stepped out, transformed into a swirl of black mist, and appeared silently at the very front of the funeral procession.
"I have a way to save him." Snape pressed his lips together, looking rather embarrassed as he said it.
Dumbledore discreetly rolled his eyes, though Kasenhis—listening clearly from inside the coffin—heard every word. He quickly crawled up from his three-room-and-one-hall space, pulled the wooden panel back into place, and lay down like Sleeping Beauty, waiting for Snape's potion delivery.
"Uh…" Snape lifted the coffin lid, looking down at Kasenhis's obviously fake stillness. For some reason, he felt an odd sense of discomfort—not quite nausea, but close enough.
Finally, with a deep breath and a grimace, he popped the cork off the potion bottle and poured the entire thing straight down Kasenhis's throat.
It was so fast that even the professors standing at the front didn't catch the motion before the potion was gone.
Cough! Cough! Cough!
Just as they were about to react and stop him, a coughing sound echoed from inside the coffin.
Kasenhis… was alive again. Just like that.
...
That afternoon, in Kasenhis's office,
He was lounging on the sofa watching Cedric, who was bent over polishing mechanical joints, while he himself munched through the mountain of nutritional supplements sent by students and professors.
"Professor, since Professor Snape's already cured you… shouldn't you go back to teaching?" Cedric asked as he worked.
"You don't get it," Kasenhis said, waving a finger. "Sure, Dumbledore found out about my fake illness, and my plan accidentally turned into a fake death instead—but all I lost was a bit of dignity. Dumbledore, on the other hand, lost a whole alchemy professor. Even if it's only temporary."
"But if Hogwarts wants alchemy classes to continue," Kasenhis said smugly, "then Dumbledore will have to spend actual gold to hire another master alchemist. As for when I'll return to teaching…"
He crossed his arms and hummed, "Heh~ Depends on my mood~"
"But Professor Dumbledore said he'd be teaching us himself. I heard he's already preparing the teaching materials…" Cedric said absent-mindedly as he filed down a metal joint.
"What's my next class?" Kasenhis suddenly asked.
"Uh… fourth-years. In about two minutes. Why?" Cedric turned toward the sofa—and froze. Kasenhis was already up, yanking on his coat while muttering, "Dumbledore doesn't know a damn thing about alchemy!"
"He can teach? Dumbledore?!"
"In academia, he thinks I'm a frog at the bottom of a well, but in education, he's the mayfly trying to glimpse the heavens!"
"Dumbledore's a total amateur…"
Cedric's nose twitched as he watched Kasenhis storm down the stairs with thunderous steps.
...
"Hello, everyone," Dumbledore said as he entered the classroom cheerfully. "Since your Professor Kasenhis is ill, I'll be substituting for your alchemy classes for the time being."
The young wizards sitting below looked anything but happy.
Their expressions were so grim it was as if they were staring at a corpse—honestly, Dumbledore standing at the podium looked less like the headmaster and more like… Professor Snape.
But Dumbledore didn't seem troubled at all. He simply turned back to the blackboard and began writing:
"The foundation of alchemy is the transformation of matter. I've noticed that Professor Kasenhis taught you a method of transmutation using something called the 'Crucible of Mysteries,' which can convert various elements. So today, let's review the basics of alchemy. I'll give you a simple task—use any element and transform it into something sweet. Whoever succeeds will receive—"
Before Dumbledore could even finish, a dark blur shot out from the staircase behind the podium.
"Take this! A righteous kick from your Alchemy Professor!"
Wham!
One flying kick sent Dumbledore soaring off the platform, and Kasenhis landed smoothly in his place.
"Someone, kindly escort our dear Headmaster out."
Two students immediately stood up from their seats, hurried over, and helped the dazed Dumbledore to his feet before dragging him away.
"Kicking an old man like that.. I was only here to teach… what are you doing…" Dumbledore mumbled groggily, but alas, he was still carried out.
"Alright, class," Kasenhis clapped his hands, "let's continue our discussion on productivity and productive relations. Once we're done with that, I'll personally teach you how to handcraft a fully functional assembly line from scratch. Trust me—you're going to need this skill someday…"
An hour-long class passed quickly, and as soon as Kasenhis dismissed the students, he vanished with a pop back to his office—only to see Hagrid standing there in his usual mismatched, colorful outfit, holding two bottles of good liquor.
"What's this… got something to discuss, huh~?" Kasenhis gave him a teasing, aunt-like grin.
_________
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