Hagrid's face turned beet red. He fidgeted and stammered, "Is it… is it that obvious?"
"Very obvious. Looks to me like it's the first time you've actually… taken care of yourself," Kasenhis said, smirking.
"Then I'll just say it straight." Hagrid glanced nervously at Cedric, who was pretending to be calmly studying a mechanical joint but had his ears perked up like a cat.
"He's one of us. Say whatever you want," Kasenhis reassured, waving a hand confidently. And he wasn't just saying that—he knew Cedric's character well enough to trust him completely.
Hagrid took a deep breath… and didn't say anything for a long while, his face turning redder and redder from holding it in.
Kasenhis sighed, grabbed a bottle of liquor, popped the cork, and handed it over. "Here. Drink."
"Oh, thanks…" Hagrid said, gulping down the entire bottle in one go.
"Now, can you talk?" Kasenhis asked.
"I think I'm in love," Hagrid mumbled shyly.
"Madam Maxime?" Kasenhis asked immediately.
"Wait.. H-How did you know that?!" Hagrid exclaimed, completely shocked.
"Take a guess. There are only two who really match your… aesthetic around Hogwarts—Madam Maxime and Nios. You're not about to pick up Dumbledore's bad habits, are you?" Kasenhis rolled his eyes.
"What do you mean by Dumbledore's bad habits?" Hagrid asked, confused.
Now this was a topic Kasenhis had been holding back out of respect for the old man. But after the fine and the coffin incident, he'd officially stopped caring about maintaining Dumbledore's spotless image.
"Dumbledore and Grindelwald were a couple. You didn't know?" Kasenhis said flatly.
"Huh??"
Two synchronized question marks—one from Hagrid, the other from Cedric.
"Mm-hmm. They admired each other when they were young. You really didn't know?" Kasenhis asked with exaggerated seriousness.
"Er… uh… right… let's, uh, change the subject. Let's talk about my love life instead." Hagrid stammered, hastily steering the conversation back on track.
"Fine. So are you in love, or just in a crush?" Kasenhis asked.
"Uh… what's the difference?" Hagrid asked sheepishly.
"If it's the former, then you're on hard mode. If it's the latter, you're on easy mode," Kasenhis replied matter-of-factly.
"Uh… I think I'm more in the crush stage," Hagrid admitted.
"Good. I've never been in a relationship."
"...Huh?" Hagrid blinked at him, dumbfounded.
"Yeah, never dated. Born single, stayed single," Kasenhis said, his face turning a little red.
"Uh… then who am I supposed to ask for advice? You know how it is—none of the professors at Hogwarts have a proper family life to speak of," Hagrid sighed.
"Ahem."
Cedric, who had been polishing a mechanical joint nearby, suddenly felt a tickle in his throat and coughed lightly.
Both men instantly turned their gazes toward him.
"Cedric, if I remember right… You're dating someone, aren't you?" Hagrid asked in a low voice.
"Yeah. Cho Chang, the girl from Ravenclaw, and I are ...together."
"Damn... look at his smile when he says her name!" Kasenhis whistled, while Hagrid's eyes were full of hope and admiration.
Cedric looked back at the two professors in confusion. "What's going on?"
Kasenhis and Hagrid exchanged a glance. Right now, there were three living souls in the office—Kasenhis, who hadn't dated in two lifetimes; Hagrid, who hadn't dated for most of his life; and Cedric, the only one with actual experience.
"So… Cho Chang and I are mutually attracted. We just… talk, spend time together, enjoy each other's company. Nothing complicated. She was the one who started the conversations, so.. I don't really have any courting experience, and that's why I'm not sure how to teach that," Cedric said helplessly.
Listening to that, Kasenhis silently downed a glass of liquor, feeling a sudden urge to smack the kid. Why did that explanation sound so smug all of a sudden?
Hagrid, on the other hand, pulled out a little notebook. "I think mutual attraction is also a form of love. Go on, don't hold back!"
"All right, then." Cedric put down the joint he'd been polishing and carefully began recounting his dating experience, deliberately skipping over anything that required… physical modeling.
Hagrid didn't notice anything strange about it, but Kasenhis sure did. After listening for a bit, he even got up, circled around, and looked Hagrid up and down thoughtfully.
"Not what I'd call handsome in the traditional sense, but not ugly either. You've got a kind face—pleasant, approachable. The kind people like."
Meanwhile, Hagrid just sat there listening to Cedric's story, word by word…
Kasenhis could clearly see his expression growing gloomier and gloomier.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Hagrid sighed pitifully. "After hearing Cedric talk so much, I suddenly feel like I'm not all that great. I'm just a professor of Magical Creatures—one who didn't even finish school—and she's the headmistress of Beauxbatons."
"Our looks aren't exactly evenly matched either... I mean, from what I've seen of Cedric and Cho Chang, they're both amazing—handsome lad, beautiful girl. But me... well, that Nios fellow looks much more handsome than I do, doesn't he? And his build—so tall, so sculpted, like a statue."
Kasenhis waved his hand dismissively. "So what? Hagrid, you might not be the most handsome bloke around, but Madam Maxime isn't exactly a beauty queen either. She's fierce—kind of reminds me of the nun from my orphanage days."
"Pfft—cough.. cough.. Uh... Professor, isn't that a bit rude to say?" Cedric asked awkwardly.
"What's rude about it? It's just the three of us here—no one else can hear." Kasenhis shrugged.
Cedric sighed and pointed beside him.
Kasenhis turned his head—and froze.
"And you are...?"
"Fleur Delacour... Madam Maxime's student."
"...Heh... heh-heh..."
When a man faces a soul-crushing realization or something so absurd it defies logic, all he can do is laugh.
Just like Kasenhis now—feeling the twisted humor of fate pressing down on him, he could only let out a helpless, hollow laugh.
_________
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